we all float on

*Elias* · (This post was last modified: 06-18-2017, 02:44 AM by Elias.)

The guilt on Zuriel's face was indeed easy to read. Almost as soon as Elias had stopped moving, he could see the change in Zuriel's expression. Such a feeling of guilt coming from the woman caused Elias himself the very same feeling, his heart sinking just slightly as she continued to speak. So she did suspect that he'd done something to them..

It wasn't like Elias could blame her. After all, he wasn't even entirely sure that in the right circumstances a meeting between himself and the children might end badly. When his brother's litter was born, his brother's mate wouldn't even allow him to go near her children. He was too unpredictable, and her mother's instinct simply warned her to be cautious of him. In all honesty, the fact that Zuriel seemed worried was only natural...

That didn't mean he had to like the way things were. He wished he could trust himself not to.. turn.

When she offered for him to meet them, Elias suddenly began to feel very cold. He watched her for a long time, uncertain on how he should react to this. He had just internally came to an understanding on why she wouldn't want him around her children-- their children and now she was offering him to meet them.

His heart began to race at the thought of seeing them, seeing their faces. He remembered how proud he had been of his nieces and nephews, how much of his aunts and uncles he could see in those newborns. It was extraordinary, and it would only be all the more remarkable when looking at children he knew were his own. But, what if...

His ears went down as he looked away from Zuriel, he had to be realistic. He could say yes right now and meet them, but he knew the dangers.. and it simply was not worth the risk. He decided to push off his final answer so that he could first give Zuriel some insight. "My brothers and I.. we disappeared a lot when we were their age. I got this scar on my forehead from my mother's wrath, there was a time Ace and I left for months. When we came back, she didn't know how to react. She was so sick with worry, probably already told herself we were dead. We were so behind on our training... I'm pretty sure she kept us grounded up until the day she died, all because of how much we scared her." He smirked, "If they have my height and my eyes.. I guarantee they have my wanderlust. I just hope that's all they inherited from me. The girl, I am glad to hear she is taking after you..."

Subtly, his demeanor began to break. It was hard to fight off the sadness that had been building within him, and now.. as he was about to admit his denial for her offer, it was nearly impossible to hold away. "I do not think it's wise to introduce us quite yet. I still do not.. trust myself completely. You've given me a lot of hope, Zuriel.. you don't understand what I mean by that but you have.." His eyes searched hers for a moment before they had to break, the feeling behind their eye contact simply overwhelming him. He couldn't speak while holding it, so instead those rubies drifted down to the dangling jewel hanging in front of her chest.

"I still do not trust myself not to hurt you, and especially not them. I wanted to ask.. is there any herb that you can think of with a.. calming effect on it's patients? Perhaps something that makes it harder.. to react or think? I imagine most would hate that sort of side effect, but... I don't know. When my emotions get high, I lose control. I don't know how to keep them... low?" He was so unsure of what he was saying, he had no idea if this were the right route to approach or if herbs were even a possibility for aiding the sort of problems Elias had. Something about this woman told him that being around her would lead him to the right answer, he just didn't know how they were going to get there... or if it was even right for him to depend on her like that.

"In the mean time, I would like to help you track them. If we start getting too close, I will back off."

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