Sleepless Nights
07-31-2017, 03:40 PM
She knew her mate was trying to comfort her and in a way it was working, but she was fairly certain that she was beyond comforting at this point. The worry and self-loathing were eating her alive. The internal struggle over how she could be blind and still useful and independent was something she had struggled with her whole life. For a long time she had convinced herself that she could be just as independent as anyone else... especially after surviving on her own for quite a few years. This experience with Viho had shaken her confidence to the core. She pressed herself into Castiel and bit back frustrated tears. She gave a little shake of her head to his question. "I... don't know what to say to them," she replied with a quiet hesitation. "I feel like I should comfort them or tell them it's all going to be okay, but it feels like a lie when I do." She leaned her head into his chest, feeling her eyes burn with tears. "I feel like I'm not cut out for this, Castiel. I've never had anyone depending on me like this. I don't know what to do." It was hard to keep her voice down to a hushed whisper, but she didn't want her children to hear. She wanted to be strong for them and supportive, but how could she be? How could she support them when she could barely support herself? Kalli felt like she was just dragging Castiel down and putting all of this work on him. She couldn't see how this could be a partnership when he was doing the bulk of the work. |
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