Shattered

The girl could see the fury in his eyes, and again cast her eyes downward, her head dipped low and ears flattened. Her tail tucked between her hocks, nails stirring up the ground anxiously. She could hardly look at him, even as he turned to fully face her. His voice was cold and brimming with the irony that was this situation. She knew it was all wrong... why didn't she just turn around and leave? But she was frozen in place, her ears perking a bit when he began to tell her what he was going through, what Talis' raid meant to the wolves of his pack. It began with him mentioning that they might have been friends. Her first possible friend, and she'd betrayed any possibility of that ever happening. What came next was a flurry of words that she could not respond to. She felt like scorned pup. She had no response, and there was not a single moment where she might interject anyhow. His words were sharp, unapproachable, but she knew she needed to hear him out, keeping her jaws clamped shut as she stared at the ground.

Her brows pulled together when he mentioned the appearance of his sister and their near-dead sibling, followed by news that his father had been murdered. Her chest tightened as he described each tragic occurrence that had happened to both him personally, his family, and to his pack as a whole. The true gravity of her involvement in this raid hit her, and as he continued on, she shrank under his furious glare, wishing she could just disappear. How had she not been aware of the potentially far-reaching consequences of her actions? Had she really lived such a self-absorbed life? She'd never lost anything important to her. She'd hardly lived a difficult life. Looking at her life, one might assume she was merely a spoiled brat looking for attention. She'd never realized that her involvement in this violent act would affect so many in such a negative way. Standing hunched in front of Paladin, she felt none of the pride she'd worn on the night of the raid. Not a scrape of it.

What could she do to make this better? She wasn't sure there was anything. Nobody had died that night, but the harm caused might not be reversible. The blood spilled, the trust shattered... was there any way to take it all back? When he finally finished his verbal rampage, asking her how she could follow her leader, she took a nervous step backward, shaking her head. Was it blind loyalty,
or was she just a bad person? She wasn't sure anymore. "I-I was born in Talis," she said quietly, "W-wouldn't anyone f-follow their leader? I... didn't know it would be like this." She had imagined a lot more pride and glory. She thought she'd care less what she'd done to another pack - after all, wasn't her main concern supposed to be Talis? But why did it feel like this? Knowing how much more deeply it had effected Celestial, she felt crushed by guilt.

"I'm... sorry, Paladin," she said, her voice cracking as she tried to maintain some sort of composure, "I didn't know..." She wasn't sure what else to say. What could she say? She could apologize a million times over, but it wouldn't undo what had been done, and all of the pain that Paladin and his pack mates had gone through, and would continue to go through. She glanced up at him, seeing the continued look of cold fury upon his face. She had to look away again, her eyes moving to the blue flowers of the plants Paladin had taught her about and helped her find.