-1 the difference in their builds alone wouldn't be enough that Exodus' could break Steels toes.
If/Than Statements
Excessive Movement
Realism
8/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
Positioning
-1 what angle is Exodus attacking at? How are they lining up?
Directions
-1 if his head is turning to his right it would line his jaws up with the left side of Steel's face, assuming they're straight on.
Movements
Damage
7/10 for Attacks:
+2 shoulder slam +1 severity
+3 bite
+1 paw slam
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 each seen
10/10 for Injuries:
first round
Status
2/12 for Experience:
+1 beginner/fighter
+1 beginner/navigator
5/5 for Health:
pack status
unhealed event status
unhealed fight status
EXODUS’ round total: 46/62
STEEL:
WRITING
4/10 for Power Play:
Attempts
-1 " using his right shoulder against Exodus’s own" you need to attempt this
Godmoding
-1 how severe was the damage to Steel's throat? -2 how severe was the damage to Steel's face -1 how much damage was done to his paw? We need a sense of the severity of the damage.
If/Than Statements
Excessive Movement
Realism
-1 I'm not sure how Steel pushing his shoulder into a heavier wolf is supposed to be enough force push him back.
6/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
-2 where on Exodus' face is he aiming to bite? -1 what is his goal with the bite?
Positioning
Directions
-1 "swing his head to the side" which side?
Movements
Damage
4/10 for Attacks:
+3 bite
+1 shoulder push
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 each seen
10/10 for Injuries:
moderate bruising to throat
severe lacerations to face
moderate bruising to right paw
Status
2/12 for Experience:
+1 beginner/fighter
+1 beginner/navigator
5/5 for Health:
pack status
unhealed event status
unhealed fight status
STEEL’s round total: 36/62
ROUND TWO
EXODUS:
WRITING
10/10 for Power Play:
Attempts
Godmoding
If/Than Statements
Excessive Movement
Realism
8/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
Positioning
-1 what angle is he facing steels right shoulder? -1 I'm a bit confused with the pivoting as well, if his front paws stay exactly as they are he'd line up with Steel's head not his shoulder
Directions
Movements
General
7/10 for Attacks:
+2 chest throw
+1 paw hook
+3 bite +1 grip
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 each seen
6/10 for Injuries:
-1 moderate bruising to right shoulder
-3 severe punctures to right ear
Status
2/12 for Experience:
+1 beginner/fighter
+1 beginner/navigator
5/5 for Health:
pack status
unhealed event status
unhealed fight status
EXODUS’ round total: 43/62
STEEL:
WRITING
8/10 for Power Play:
Attempts
-2 make sure you attempt all attacks. The wording of the bite makes it sound like he's already succeeded.
Godmoding
If/Than Statements
Excessive Movement
Realism
5/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
-1 how much damage was done by the bite? -1 how much damage was done by the chest throw? -1 not quite sure where on the forelimb Steel is biting, the wording is a bit odd and I'm not sure if it's closer to the wrist or the elbow
Positioning
-2 I'm very confused on his positioning. With Exodus having pivoted how is Steel pressing back against him without adjusting his position?
Directions
Movements
-1 Steel is going forward but aiming for a foreleg, make sure he makes some sort of movement to explain why his head is low enough for that target.
General
4/10 for Attacks:
+3 bite +1 grip
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 each seen
6/10 for Injuries:
-1 moderate bruising to right shoulder
-3 severe lacerations to right shoulder
Status
2/12 for Experience:
+1 beginner/fighter
+1 beginner/navigator
5/5 for Health:
pack status
unhealed event status
unhealed fight status
STEEL’s round total: 35/62
Totals:
Exodus 89/124 Steel: 71/124
And the winner is...
EXODUS! STEEL must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out. Exodus' maim goes through. Steel's facial wounds will result in severe scarring. Exodus is free to start another battle.
Damage:
EXODUS:
moderate bruising to right shoulder - 1 ooc week
severe punctures to right ear - 3 ooc weeks
STEEL:
moderate bruising to throat - 1 ooc week
severe lacerations to face resulting in permanent scarring - 1 ooc month
moderate bruising to right paw - 1 ooc week
moderate bruising to right shoulder - 1 ooc week
severe lacerations to right shoulder - 3 ooc weeks
