-2 they are pretty close in size and build, I don't see how hitting the front of the shoulder is supposed to dislocate it
If/Than Statements
-1 don't assume the distance was closed and that your opponent is going to be in the exact same position as you get close.
Excessive Movement
Realism
7/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
-1 I'm having a bit of trouble picturing where you're aiming her bite
Positioning
-1 what angle is Sterling approaching Gwen?
Directions
-1 make sure to specific whose left "Then she whipped her head to her left"
Movements
Damage
7/10 for Attacks:
+2 shoulder throw
+3 bite +1 grip
+1 paw stomp
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 each seen
10/10 for Injuries:
first round
Status
2/12 for Experience:
+1 beginner/navigator
+1 beginner/hunter
5/5 for Health:
pack status
unhealed event status
unhealed fight status
STERLING’s round one total: 43/62
GWENEVERE:
WRITING
9/10 for Power Play:
Attempts
Godmoding
-1 they're pretty close in size, I'm not sure how the arm wrap is supposed to immobilize Sterling
If/Than Statements
Excessive Movement
Realism
8/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
Positioning
Directions
-1 make sure to specify whose right "sidestepped neatly to the right"
Movements
-1 I had trouble understanding the pivot and how that motion was happening
Damage
7/10 for Attacks:
+1 chest slam
+2 arm wrap
+3 bite +1 grip
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 each seen
10/10 for Injuries:
minor lacerations to left side of neck
Status
2/12 for Experience:
+1 beginner/fighter
+1 beginner/navigator
5/5 for Health:
pack status
unhealed event status
unhealed fight status
GWENEVERE’s round total: 46/62
ROUND TWO
STERLING:
WRITING
7/10 for Power Play:
Attempts
Godmoding
-2 I'm not quite sure how Sterling took damage from the chest slam but avoided the grab and the dodge. Make sure to take note when your opponent does multiple attacks simultaneously
If/Than Statements
Excessive Movement
-1 I feel like there was a lot of movement to complete that dodge
Realism
7/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
Positioning
-1 she feels a bit twisted up reaching over her right shoulder slam to bite Gwen's shoulder
Directions
-1 what portion of Gwen's left side is she facing?
Movements
-1 I had trouble understanding her movement and the pivot.
General
6/10 for Attacks:
+2 shoulder throw
+3 bite +1 grip
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 each seen
9/10 for Injuries:
-1 light bruising to hip
Status
2/12 for Experience:
+1 beginner/navigator
+1 beginner/hunter
5/5 for Health:
pack status
unhealed event status
unhealed fight status
STERLING’s round two total: 41/62
GWENEVERE:
WRITING
10/10 for Power Play:
Attempts
Godmoding
If/Than Statements
Excessive Movement
Realism
8/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
-1 where is Gwen's lower jaw going in the muzzle attack, is her lower jaw between Sterling's jaws? I wasn't quite sure how she was going at Gwen's muzzle
Positioning
Directions
Movements
-1 "her around her forehand" I'm not sure what this is, is she pivoting on her forepaws?
General
8/10 for Attacks:
+2 leg wrap
+3 bite +1 grip
+2 chest slam
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 each seen
9/10 for Injuries:
-1 light bruising to chest
Status
2/12 for Experience:
+1 beginner/fighter
+1 beginner/navigator
5/5 for Health:
pack status
unhealed event status
unhealed fight status
GWENEVERE’s round two total: 47/62
Totals:
STERLING: 84/124 GWENEVERE: 93/124
And the winner is...
GWENEVERE! STERLING must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out. Gwenevere is free to join another fight.
Damage:
STERLING:
light bruising to hip - 2 ooc days
GWENEVERE:
minor lacerations to left side of neck - 1 ooc week
