Lost
09-25-2017, 12:12 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-25-2017, 12:13 PM by Elias.)
It was a quiet night, but still he kept going. It had been another long season since he'd returned to her this time. Even now, he was reluctant to return without any signs of her.. their.. children to bring good news. Right now, honestly.. he just wanted to see her again. He spent the last two weeks trailing back out of Auster just to make his way home to her, and this time... he didn't have the patience to wait idly outside of the pack territory for her.
He was lost, not in navigation but in his heart. Guilt ate him alive, depression sunk into every corner of his mind and it was hard for him to find the courage to keep fighting for his survival. It's all he had ever done in his life, fight to survive.. and all he had ever wanted was to be there for his kin and to see their family thrive in circumstances far less harsh than what he was born in. When his sister had her litter, he had been thrilled and full of hope for a better place for them.
It wasn't long before his uncontrollable outbursts scared her to the point where he wasn't even welcome around them. The moment his sister stood between him and her children and he saw the fear in her eyes was the moment he truly realized how much of a monster he really was. A part of him was proud of his sister for protecting them from him, it was a bittersweet feeling.
Worn paw pads finally stopped moving, radiantly sore even though he still stood on them there at the edge of the territory for Lirim. She had told him to stay away, but something inside of him was searching for conflict in this moment. He had nothing good to tell her about her missing sons, and tracking was the only thing he was halfway decent at doing anymore. If he couldn't even successfully do that, what was his purpose hiding away as if trying to prove he was anything better than the rapist they thought him to be?
Perhaps, they would kill him. Perhaps, they would deliver the justice that he deserved to feel. He imagined it clearly in his mind, flying teeth coming down on him from all angles as her loved ones took their much-needed revenge out on him for what he had done. His ears perked for just a moment, eyes wide as he stood there in his thoughts. When he finally pulled himself out of them, those ears shot back and the behemoth threw back his skull, a deep sound resonating within his magnificent chest to come out as a bellowing roar for a howl. He let it ring fully, only stopping once his breath was weakening. He stood there, red eyes glowing beneath the full twilight as he watched the willows and waited for the pack to arise.
"Come and get me," he said quietly and under his breath. Though, as he stood there.. he couldn't help but hope that among the ones answering his call, she would be there- at least for him to see one last time.
Disclaimer: Elias suffers from schizophrenia and occasionally has violent outbursts.
Tag Me!