silent whispers silent tears

Walk | Talk | Think

Even as she stared at him, watched the ghost of a smile that she remembered slip across his face, she was conflicted. A part of her was inexplicably angry at him for leaving, particularly for doing so without first telling her that he was going to go. She might have understood, if the reasons had been just, but considering herself somewhat special to him, at least in the best friends sense, and then having him vanish without a word hurt more than she could fathom. But she was also so incredibly relieved to see him, to know that he was safe. Had she not been so angry she might have rushed right up to him - pride be damned - and embrace him to express how happy she was to have him back. And through all the tumultuous emotions, Ashtoreth continued to try and remind herself that this was all normal between friends. The worry, the anger, the relief, the need to embrace him, the way his mere presence sent her reeling in every which way. But she couldn't remember ever feeling this way before, and still reluctant to admit that it might not be normal just made her all the more jittery.

Thankfully, he distracted her with an answer, though it didn't quite do any good to alleviate her frustrations. His family. That seemed a good enough reason as any to leave. The pack she was a part of was heavily family-based; it only made sense that he might drop everything and bring those of his kin to live with him if he could. She couldn't condemn him for that. She averted her gold and purple eyes guiltily down and away from his sincere blue gaze, considering his answer as he elaborated about the family he had thought to be near, the chase he had given after them that failed, and a heartfelt apology that he had been careless to say nothing about any of it.

Almost, just almost, her anger subsided. Had he left things at that, she might have been able to let it all slide, to move past it in her own time and let the conversation move on from there without a hitch. It was hard to say exactly how she might have reacted if that had been the given scenario, but it wasn't. Rather than give her time to adjust, to let these new revelations and his presence sink into her mind, he pressed things, inquiring about what had happened in his absence, and quite suddenly she was bombarded with all the happenings since she had last seen him. Her attack, the wound she had suffered, her slow and agonizing recovery, returning to his den to find him gone, staking out a claim to it in his absence, the chaotic events of the pack and their very public meetings, the aftermath, her own promotion. So much had happened, so much he had missed, but only one part stuck out to her most. She had sought his comfort after her attack, choosing to go to his den rather than her own, but had been welcomed only by the remnants of his scent and the empty hollow that had been his. Again, a touch of pain stabbed her, but she swallowed to force it away, knowing she still needed to answer.

She had a sudden compulsion to rush forward and shove him for no good reason other than to watch him fall on his backside but resisted, instead turning her ears moodily against her head as she curled her legs and seated herself upon the ground before Leon with an almost scowl. "Better," Ashtoreth answered shortly, curtly, though she sighed after the word had left her lips. She was horrible at being angry with him. "Chrys is in charge now," she started, deciding to work her way backwards with her storytelling and start with the easiest subjects, the pack changes. "Epiphron offered to take her place in the betrothal, so she's going to be off to Seracia here soon. Syrinx was about ready to take over, too, but..." She paused, a touch of worry racing visibly across her face before she pressed on with reluctance, "Cairo fell ill. He's been doing better since, from what I've heard, but it was a scary moment." Minutely the corners of her lips rose into a little smile and her two-toned eyes sought his before glancing away. "Thane's been promoted too, which...means so have I. Lead Hunter after all."

The little grey wolf was running out of things to say before she needed to get on about the difficult part, her moment of embarrassment and shame. Her expression darkened as she thought about it, her near smile disappearing into a thin line while her eyes stared downward between them. Best just to get it over with. "I...I also had a...bit of an accident." She shifted, obvious embarrassment settling around her as she leaned to rest against her hip and somewhat extend her once-injured leg, revealing the healing scars that remained. She doubted Leon would be happy about them, even partially expected some anger at her for letting it happen, but she continued without giving him much time to interject. "I don't know who he was. He seemed fine enough, but something snapped and, well, you can see. Won't go asking strangers for help again." The last phrase was intoned with a touch of her old humor, finding herself more and more easily falling back into that role with him. Now that she had been reunited with him, now that she knew him safe and still in favor of her company if he sought her out first and foremost upon his return, she wished more than anything for things to go back to the way they were.

"By the way, you're going to have to find another den," Ash added, daring at last to meet his gaze fully, "I'm not giving yours back."