Take up your new name

Taking deep breaths she settled down, readjusting several times to find a more comfortable spot as she waited in the den. In all honestly it was mostly to keep herself occupied so she couldn't let her mind wander while she was alone like this. That was always when fear and 'what if' thoughts liked to raise their ugly heads. A sudden contraction had her taking in a sharper breath, wincing slightly, her stomach suddenly churning. The nerves were silenced and tension temporarily released when Zephyr entered. Eyes shining, perhaps with love, perhaps with relief that she wouldn't be alone any longer, maybe both. Nodding at his question, she leaned into his touch and then turned to plant a kiss on his cheek. She was about to say something when the next contraction hit and sucked the air from her lungs for a moment rendering her speechless for a time and when she was able to get her breath back and fall into the rhythm of the pain that came and went she found she'd forgotten the words she was going to speak.

The first child was determined to be the end of her, bringing with it waves of pain Caelum hadn't really expected. But Caelum would be damned if this was going to end any way other than with her and all her pups being okay. So she pushed through, enduring the contractions and pushing until at last the first child made its way into the world. Falling back against Zeph so she could catch her breath again Caelum rested only a moment before beginning to clean the child and bring it to her side. The brown girl was a mix of her parents, as most of their children tended to be, with black markings on her head and white that showed up mostly on her back. Caelum couldn't wait to see what her children's eyes would look like. That was always a fun surprise and one she anxiously awaited with barely restrained excitement.

There was a pause before the next child would seek to make its way into the world, one which Caelum used to lavish the first with affection and kisses. Keeping her eyes on the pup she said in a voice barely above a whisper, "I've never stopped missing you, you know. Since we were apart," her words came slowly, though with a sureness that suggested they'd been spoken in her mind a time or two before seeing the light of day, "Now, even. I missed what we were. Missed you. Missed... being myself." Turning to him Caelum sought out his saefoam colored eyes, her own crystal blue filled with a hybrid emotion made of pain and determination. Taking a deep breath that she was honestly surprised didn't come all shuddering and pathetic, Cae's ears flicked to the side for a moment, then perked and she looked deep into his eyes with more certainty than she'd felt in a long time. "I want to be better than I was. I don't just want to be who I was again; I wanna be more. For them," she said, glancing at the pup who squealed at her side, "For you. For me. For all of us. I wanna prove who I am. Who I always have, and haven't, been." Her words trailed off, and though they stayed vague it was clear she was hinting at what happened that fateful night. Through mutual agreement they'd not pushed themselves to talk about that day or those topics and instead let things happen naturally.

"I know we both have thought that things could never be like they were. And it's true, but I also can't believe it's entirely true. If there's something I am able to do to fix any small part of it I'll do it, mark my words, I'll-" her words thickened with pain and were eventually cut off entirely as the next contraction signaled it was time for the next child to begin making it's way into the world with only a short break after it's sibling had arrived. Grimacing and gritting her teeth Cae settled back down to bring the next life into the world, the previous determination written all over her face still holding on as her mind turned to a new task.