-1 make sure you attempt to close the distance between you and your opponent
Godmoding
If/Than Statements
Excessive Movement
Realism
7/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
Positioning
-1 whose right is he angling towards? -1 I was a bit lost on how to interpret angled to the right. Towards or away? Which part of his body is angling? -1 how is Kharn attempting to place his jaws on Lais' elbow?
Directions
Movements
Damage
6/10 for Attacks:
+2 shoulder slam
+3 bite +1 grip
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 each seen
10/10 for Injuries:
list injuries (even first round, deductions beginning second)
Status
2/12 for Experience:
+1 beginner/fighter
+1 beginner/navigator
5/5 for Health:
pack status
unhealed event status
unhealed fight status
KHARNAGE’s round one total: 44/62
LAISREN:
WRITING
10/10 for Power Play:
Attempts
Godmoding
If/Than Statements
Excessive Movement
Realism
2/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
-1 the ribcage is a pretty good sized target, where on the ribcage is he attacking?
Positioning
-1 after he pivots where on Kharn's side is he facing? -1 who's left is he facing toward?
Directions
Movements
-1 moving his body 'forward-right' could be more clear
Damage
-1 where on his hind leg did the shoulder hit -1 how much damage did the hit do? -2 I didn't see any mention of the jaw attack, make sure you respond to all your opponents attacks
6/10 for Attacks:
+2 shoulder slam
+3 bite +1 grip
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 each seen
10/10 for Injuries:
bruising to hind leg
Status
2/12 for Experience:
+1 beginner/fighter
+1 beginner/hunter
5/5 for Health:
pack status
unhealed event status
unhealed fight status
LAISREN’s round one total: 40/62
ROUND TWO
KHARNAGE:
WRITING
10/10 for Power Play:
Attempts
Godmoding
If/Than Statements
Excessive Movement
Realism
7/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
Positioning
-1 by the end of your first paragraph I'm pretty lost on the overall positioning.
Directions
Movements
-1 the pivoting motion was a bit difficult to understand the way its worded
General
-1 I'm confused by the addition of [counter] in the post. I don't see what attack you're countering. It seems like a regular dodge to me.
7/10 for Attacks:
+3 bite +1 grip +1 worsening damage
+1 shoulder slam, at such close range and an odd angle I don't think the attack would be very effective
+1 paw wrap
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 each seen
8/10 for Injuries:
-2 moderate lacerations to left shoulder
Status
2/12 for Experience:
+1 beginner/fighter
+1 beginner/navigator
5/5 for Health:
pack status
unhealed event status
unhealed fight status
KHARNAGE’s round two total: 44/62
LAISREN:
WRITING
6/10 for Power Play:
Attempts
-1 Kharn has a pretty solid grip, Lais would need to attempt to pull out of it or move in such a way that Kharn would not be able to maintain the grip
Godmoding
-1 while Kharnage stated that the attack left lacerations there's no mention of a grip being obtained. -2 "and onto the male's back." Shrap will decide if and where Lais attack lands
If/Than Statements
Excessive Movement
Realism
8/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
Positioning
Directions
Movements
-1 there is a lot of movement in the first paragraph and it is difficult to follow what position they end up in.
Damage
-1 how much damage did the bite do?
6/10 for Attacks:
+1 right leg wrap
+3 bite +1 grip +1 worsening damage
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 each seen
7/10 for Injuries:
-3 severe lacerations to back of elbow
-0 minor bruising to jaw
Status
2/12 for Experience:
+1 beginner/fighter
+1 beginner/hunter
5/5 for Health:
pack status
unhealed event status
unhealed fight status
LAISREN's round two total: 39/62
Totals:
KHARNAGE: 88/124 LAISREN: 79/124
And the winner is...
KHARNAGE! LAISREN must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out. Kharnage's maim is successful
