What Hurts The Most

*Meili* · 07-03-2013, 01:27 PM

Meili decided that her new friend was psychic. She hadn't said a word about anything bothering her, had purposely tried to avoid showing outward signs of distress to keep him from worrying about her, but somehow he had guessed that something was bothering her. Just as she was settling down and relaxing again, she felt Gael move again and felt his nose and tongue on her ear. She smiled at his touch, but that smile quickly faded away at his question. How had he guessed? Her man was constantly surprising her with how intune to people he was. Maybe he just knew her especially well. They had instantly clicked when they met and she felt like she knew him better than she ever had another wolf so that might explain how he could've guessed something was up.

Meili gave a little sigh and shook her head as she lifted it from its resting place on his legs. "No, it's fine. I always want to be open with you. I was just trying not to bother you with it since I was more worried about you... It's just that when you were grooming me just then..." She hesitated, her ears folding back. "When you were grooming me it felt like something was... loosened in my brain. All of old memories are locked away, you see. It like everything from that day I woke up and back is locked away and I've never been able to get to it. But when you were grooming me it felt like it shook something loose, but when I tried to focus on it..." she looked down at the ground between her forelegs, a soft, frustrated whine echoing in her chest. "Everytime I try to think about back then, I just get this image from that day and I just can't..."

With her ears pinned back and her paws tucked underneath her, she stared down at the ground, refusing to look at him. She was so beyond broken. Her memories were a jumbled mess that she didn't think could ever be fixed. Back when she first lost her memory, it was cut in half, black and white. There were her old memories and her new memories, they weren't a rocky mess like they were now. She rested her head back in her spot on his legs, but still refused to look up at his lovely cerulean gaze. She felt awful for dragging him into her messed up life. He was so young and had so much going for him, but she was just a broken loner. She didn't know what he saw in her that made him want to stay with her and be her friend. She wished she could be whole again for him, so she could live a normal life with him. She was afraid that would never happen. This wasn't the first time she had felt one of her old memories show up just out of her reach, but it had been one of the most obvious, jarring times. She felt like everything was out of balance and she wasn't sure where all the puzzle pieces of her mind were supposed to land.

"Speech."

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