I Mean It

As the woman settled down across from him in a similar fashion to the way he had done, he watched her patiently... thinking internally again on how precious this woman was, how he admired her small stature- she honestly.. was probably the one that reminded him the most of Katar out of the three women he'd attacked that night. A small sigh escaped his lips without him meaning to as he tried to steer his thoughts in the right direction, yet again. He usually did his best to hide these little slip-ups in his expression, but at this moment he was more vulnerable than usual.

His stomach was still partially knotted with the anxiety of facing the guilt of what he'd done, but he was calming down. The wolverine cub next to his forelimbs was a good thing to focus on, as it began to stir and get back on its short legs. He watched it, his ruby gaze glistening as he quietly listened to Storm's words...

The cub was curious about Storm now that she had settled down with them, and took this as an invitation to explore this new wolf. A tiny nose would attempt to meet the tip of Storm's closest talon at the end of her paw as he did his best to assess where she had gone today. Elias' stare broke from the cub when Storm mentioned that Tyranis disappeared for an unknown reason and the same feeling of concern that he'd had when Ace told him about this started to twist his stomach even worse. What if his motive for abandoning his pack was the same reasoning that Elias' held when he'd abandoned Ruina?

He was forced to leave this thought in the back of his mind for now as she continued to talk, and he was curious about his remaining son from this litter and his daughters. He wanted to ask questions, to know their names, and his heart beat with the far-fetched dream of possibly meeting them and understanding what they have become. He broke out of his hopes, his eyes flickering like a fire ignited by a gust of wind as they turned to Storm's own blind gaze when her question came. He wasn't sure if he would have been able to look her in the eye at this moment had he not known she was completely blind, as he couldn't even hold the gaze for long with knowing that she was.

There was a long moment of silence as Elias' focus recessed back into his own mind, his red eyes distant and glancing away from Storm and the cub as he thought quietly on the right words to use for this hard explanation.

"I.. well," he fumbled, perhaps starting a bit too soon. He cleared his throat as he tilted his head backward, gazing up at the sky as he silently prayed to his father for strength. After a moment, he tried again.

"I wish that what was going on mentally that night was something that occurred on only that night. The truth is, I have been haunted for... nearly as far back as I can remember. The blood in my veins and the blood of our children is cursed- plagued by demons that only we seem to be able to hear the whispers of. I know.. how that might sound, but where I come from- this was never anything questioned. This was our life, this was our purpose. My father led a pack of firm believers in him and trained us to continue to serve this relationship our family had developed with these spirits of the underworld. Not all of them are truly evil, but the ones that have haunted me ever since I was a kid surely seem to be."

His muscles were tensing the more he spoke, and his body started to give off a visible shake- not that she could see. It was distracting, and he did his best to ignore it by lifting his weight back up to sit on his haunches, his forelimbs firmly placed in front of him as they did their best to resist the overwhelming feeling of his rushing blood and unsettled muscles.

He grit his teeth for a moment but continued. "Our pack believed that we are immortal and that when we die that is not the end- it is the beginning of a new cycle, one that will eventually also end and lead us right back here. It is difficult to explain, but... there is.. a process we go through when a loved one dies. A ritual.. a funeral... that binds our eyes and ears to the souls of our fallen. Usually, they just spectate through our lives and help provide guidance. My wife, however, died in a very.. unsettling way. I don't think her spirit has ever been truly allowed to settle, and now she haunts me. She has quieted down recently, but on those nights.. her words were the loudest that I could hear. She was tormenting me, taunting me, wishing the worst for those that I came across. I tried to fight it for as long as I could, but... I got tired. I gave up. A demon took over, and that demon was more than willing to listen to her desires. She.. compelled him to do that to you, forced me to watch. Forced me to commit something I would never do to you. I am so sorry."

He'd already apologized, but he felt the need to reiterate his guilt as he explained this all again. He wasn't sure how she would handle these taboo beliefs of his, but he was sincere with his apology. He shook, almost violently now, as he watched her again... wanting desperately to run before another demon took advantage of his current state of mind. As much as he shook, though, he did not feel weak.. he felt very in touch with himself as he stared at her, and reminded himself of his guilt, of his desperate need to correct what he had done.