Daughter of Mine
07-06-2013, 12:34 PM
She felt horrible inside. Like a grumpy goat except she wasn't a goat. She would call her sister a grumpy goat sometimes when Keki wasn't cooperative with her. "You grumpy goat!" she would tell in her small squeaky voice at Keki. Then her sister would just turn her nose upwards and crinkle it as if she had smelt a horrid smell. Usually Maka would reply by sticking her tongue out. For a moment she stuck out her tongue a bit and looked at it. Wondering if she ha actually done that but had stopped last year. She didn't know why she was so.....uneasy. She didn't even know how to describe herself now. She had a reason to be this way then didn't. She shouldn't be this way but then she couldn't help it.
Turquoise eyes averted to her mother as she spoke up. Then did she tell her to talk to her, and that she hasn't seen her this upset. Actually, Maka herself hasn't seen herself this upset. It even surprised her as well. Crusade then asked if it was the move or the new home. A phase was set until she asked if she longed for a mate and children. The femme resisted the urge to crinkle up her nose at that. She just sat there but imagined herself doing it. Turning her nose upward just like Keki did when they were pups. What would make her say that? Was it the scent of her heat? Probably, but Maka hadn't thought about that at the moment. What was it really?
She resisted to sigh before she spoke, but did take a breath.
"I-I'm sorry. I'm not being pleasant to be around now am I. And it's neither of those. The fact is...I don't know why. It feels as if my mind has opened up and all of these horrid memories are falling out. An I realized that I'm tired. I'm tired if living in my sister's shadow. I'm tired of looking at her from the sidelines feeling jealous but then guilty that I realize it's not her fault. I love her as my sister but I've felt that no one loves me as they do her. It's been the same since we were born. She was always the favorite if us. Our biological parents would fuss over her and not so much as take a look it glance over at me. And when she left! When she promised to come back but she never did. My parents were devastated. They searched for their list daughter but never realized what they had left. Never realized the small runt or imperfect one sitting there. It angers me! They didn't let me be a pup. They didn't let me be happy, loved as much, and cared for as much. You would think that after she left they would move on to me. Nope, they still grieved Keki's absence in their lives and I was just dragged along, a burden. And I still feel like that today. Her shadow. And when my biological mother died. She sacrificed her life to save mine. I slipped crossing an abyss on a fallen tree and she fell as well. With her teeth on my tail she knew it wouldn't hold both if us. So she let go... But I saw her eyes. She looked at me with them and I saw what she realized at her last moments of life. Pain, guilt, sorrow. She realized she had a second daughter; at that moment! Took her long enough! And then she was gone... But now when I look at Keki with those pups I know she deserves better. But I'm also not used to her imperfection in that field. Not her but the fact that she doesn't have a mate she deserves. And those pups don't have a father they deserve. And that one flaw...is her one imperfection. The only one in her entire life. And mine? I don't know how to describe. I'm sick and tired of being her shadow....I hate it but I love her at the same time; because it's not her fault. And I don't know what to do..."
Maka took a moment to look at her mother before speaking once more.
"Help me...please." she pleaded before turning away to hide her tears.
Ashamed of her confession and everything she had hidden inside the curtain. Opened was it and the show was over. Everyone had left except her. Maka was in the theatre alone...in the shadows.
OOC: ignore phone post errors X)
Turquoise eyes averted to her mother as she spoke up. Then did she tell her to talk to her, and that she hasn't seen her this upset. Actually, Maka herself hasn't seen herself this upset. It even surprised her as well. Crusade then asked if it was the move or the new home. A phase was set until she asked if she longed for a mate and children. The femme resisted the urge to crinkle up her nose at that. She just sat there but imagined herself doing it. Turning her nose upward just like Keki did when they were pups. What would make her say that? Was it the scent of her heat? Probably, but Maka hadn't thought about that at the moment. What was it really?
She resisted to sigh before she spoke, but did take a breath.
"I-I'm sorry. I'm not being pleasant to be around now am I. And it's neither of those. The fact is...I don't know why. It feels as if my mind has opened up and all of these horrid memories are falling out. An I realized that I'm tired. I'm tired if living in my sister's shadow. I'm tired of looking at her from the sidelines feeling jealous but then guilty that I realize it's not her fault. I love her as my sister but I've felt that no one loves me as they do her. It's been the same since we were born. She was always the favorite if us. Our biological parents would fuss over her and not so much as take a look it glance over at me. And when she left! When she promised to come back but she never did. My parents were devastated. They searched for their list daughter but never realized what they had left. Never realized the small runt or imperfect one sitting there. It angers me! They didn't let me be a pup. They didn't let me be happy, loved as much, and cared for as much. You would think that after she left they would move on to me. Nope, they still grieved Keki's absence in their lives and I was just dragged along, a burden. And I still feel like that today. Her shadow. And when my biological mother died. She sacrificed her life to save mine. I slipped crossing an abyss on a fallen tree and she fell as well. With her teeth on my tail she knew it wouldn't hold both if us. So she let go... But I saw her eyes. She looked at me with them and I saw what she realized at her last moments of life. Pain, guilt, sorrow. She realized she had a second daughter; at that moment! Took her long enough! And then she was gone... But now when I look at Keki with those pups I know she deserves better. But I'm also not used to her imperfection in that field. Not her but the fact that she doesn't have a mate she deserves. And those pups don't have a father they deserve. And that one flaw...is her one imperfection. The only one in her entire life. And mine? I don't know how to describe. I'm sick and tired of being her shadow....I hate it but I love her at the same time; because it's not her fault. And I don't know what to do..."
Maka took a moment to look at her mother before speaking once more.
"Help me...please." she pleaded before turning away to hide her tears.
Ashamed of her confession and everything she had hidden inside the curtain. Opened was it and the show was over. Everyone had left except her. Maka was in the theatre alone...in the shadows.
OOC: ignore phone post errors X)