I'm still breathing

He was nearly restless as he stood before her and listened to her words, and even mention the promise she had made to him. It wasn't one that he had held up to her, but the mention of it made his facial features relax and his chin lift a bit in awe as he continued to listen to her. She went on to explain how she'd been carefully studying herbs throughout their time apart, and he couldn't help but wonder if that was partially due to the will to branch out to cover more symptoms than just those that affected the body. Was it for him? Or.. no, it was probably just her studying more of her practice in general.

She seemed to lack confidence in the ability for them to find something that worked, but Elias knew that if anyone could find a natural gift on this plane that could help him listen to the demons that cursed him less, it was Zuriel. He shifted his weight on his paws, moving it off of the one she'd just applied her medicines to just to ensure he didn't carelessly ruin her work on it.

Then she told him she didn't want him to leave again, and the look in her eyes as she watched him made his skin come alive as he drew in a breath. His fur along his spine prickled as he fought the compelling desire to draw closer to her, though he did dare to take a single step closer. Without realizing it, he had been continuing to hold his breath as he thought and it left him in an inaudible sigh. He couldn't stay, he knew that. No matter how much he wanted to answer her with a promise that he would. "...I don't know, I'm going into this expecting very little, I just want you to know that. I don't know how many plants there are in this world that can stand up to the will of a demon, and without a definite answer.. well. I doubt Faite would be very pleased to have me on her lands after all that I have done, Zuriel. Do you understand how... dangerous this even is, with you next to me right now?" His eyes narrowed slightly as he looked at her, his facial features pulling together in a sternness as he wanted to remind her that he wasn't a man to be trusted. He took another, quicker step closer to her to test if it scared her- if she remembered who he was that night and if she remembered what he was capable of. Didn't she know?!

He didn't want to deter her from trying, however... or push her away, even if it was to protect her. He couldn't. The words of his brother rang in his ears, he should be lucky that she wants to help him. And.. yes, he felt the same pull of fate whenever he was near her. His eyes lowered almost in immediate regret of his words, he didn't want to scare her.. not really. She didn't deserve it.. but.. she had to be aware of who he was, didn't she? "If anyone can help me, though... I know it's you. If not with your herbs, with just.. you. Your presence. Seeing you the night I apologized to you, and... feeling this guilt inside of me every day since what I did to you when I faced you to do it.. that's kept me from doing it again. I don't think I'll ever be able to stray too far from you, not if you really want me to stay. But, do you.. really want me to fight them all in an effort to stay with you here? They are your family, Zuriel. And I doubt they'll ever forgive me as easily as you have because they care about you and want you safe. I know, because I've never forgiven myself so... how could they?"