-2 you don't know that your opponent will let Amos get within 2 feet. It's best to leave out that kind of language or things like 'at the last second'.
If/Than Statements
Excessive Movement
Realism
8/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
Positioning
-2 what angle is Amos attacking Azy at, is he attacking straight on?
Directions
Movements
Damage
6/10 for Attacks:
+2 chest slam
+3 cbite +1 grip
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 each seen
10/10 for Injuries:
none, first round
Status
4/12 for Experience:
+1 beginner fighter
+3 intermediate intellectual
5/5 for Health:
pack member
unhealed event status - none
unhealed fight status - none
AMOS’s round one total: 45/62
AZAZEL:
WRITING
10/10 for Power Play:
Attempts
Godmoding
If/Than Statements
Excessive Movement
Realism
8/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
Positioning
-2 what angle is Azy trying to bring them to for his shoulder throw? you mention parallel but then he's trying to strike the ribs so shouldn't he be angled in?
Directions
Movements
-2 what movement is Azy making to bring them into parallel alignment? How is he moving to begin his attack?
Damage
6/10 for Attacks:
+2 shoulder slam
+3 bite
+1 paw slam
4/5 for Defenses:
+1 each seen
10/10 for Injuries:
moderate lacerations to left side [no deduction, first round]
Status
2/12 for Experience:
+1 beginner fighter
+1 beginner navigator
4/5 for Health:
loner
unhealed event status - none
unhealed fight status - none
AZAZEL’s round one total: 44/62
ROUND TWO
AMOS:
WRITING
10/10 for Power Play:
Attempts
Godmoding
If/Than Statements
Excessive Movement
Realism
10/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
Positioning
Directions
Movements
Damage
5/10 for Attacks:
+3 bite
+2 shoulder slam
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 each seen
8/10 for Injuries:
-1 moderate bruising to ribs
-1 light lacerations to left flank
Status
4/12 for Experience:
+1 beginner fighter
+3 intermediate intellectual
5/5 for Health:
pack member
unhealed event status - none
unhealed fight status - none
AMOS’s round two total: 47/62
AZAZEL:
WRITING
10/10 for Power Play:
Attempts
Godmoding
If/Than Statements
Excessive Movement
Realism
10/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
Positioning
Directions
Movements
Damage
6/10 for Attacks:
+2 arm wrap
+3 bite +1 grip
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 each seen
8/10 for Injuries:
-2 moderate lacerations to left thigh
Status
2/12 for Experience:
+1 beginner fighter
+1 beginner navigator
4/5 for Health:
loner
unhealed event status - none
unhealed fight status - none
AZAZEL’s round two total: 45/62
Totals:
AMOS: 92/124 AZAZEL: 89/124
And the winner is...
AMOS! AZAZEL must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out.
Damage:
AMOS:
moderate bruising to ribs (1 ooc week)
light lacerations to left flank (1 ooc week)
AZAZEL:
moderate lacerations to left side (2 ooc weeks)
moderate lacerations to left thigh (2 ooc weeks)
Notes:
Great fight guys! That was nice and clean and easy to visualize. You had a few deductions at the start as you found your footing but that second round really came together. Very close match. Keep up the good work!
