Burning Everything I Know [Sparrow]

The words came harsh and cold like a winter storm. They stung, her stomach churning and ears flattening. Brandr and Corentine... leaving? No, no they couldn't! They were the most reliable members she had. Brandr was the only one she could turn to. He was the only one who had never let her down since she had become the alpha.

They wanted to start a family together. The one dream Sparrow had as a pup had been ripped from her when she accepted this position. Her brother abandoned her to start a family, now Brandr and Corentine.

"No, Brandr-"

Tears stung in Sparrow's eyes. She tried to blink them away.

"I can't do   this without you. No one will stick by me. They've fallen away before- I can't trust half of them to stay through the night. I-"

What could she say? How could she convince him?

"I can't," she squeaked.

Sparrow hadn't felt this terrified and alone since her father had left her. Not even Lark announcing he was having pups with the wolf that tried to kill their sister had sunk her heart this deeply.

"You say you don't have the history, but what about the past two years- most of your life? Is that not a connection to our history?" Sparrow stammered, "You were here before father went mad. You were here for all of that, but you say you have- that we have no history worth standing by?"

Brandr promised he would still help. He said it would be an advantage. Sparrow shook her head.

"If you're running away to start a family, then being a messenger will only put you and them at risk," she said, turning away from him. "You say you fear you will bring harm to Abaven, but it is clear you truly fear Abaven will bring harm to you and your family."

Sparrow's tail lashed behind her. She tried to quell her anger, but it was no use. Brandr had been her rock. She had depended on him when the rest of her world crumbled away. Now he, too, was falling away. It had to be her fault. The pattern: all her life she lost only those most dear to her. It had to be her.

"If I lose everyone I care about, then what am I still fighting for?" she began, "My family is not my own anymore. I have lost all the dreams I once held dear; All the friends I found while traveling."

Sparrow whipped around to face Brandr, "And for what? What is it for, Brandr? Tell me!"

The small brown wolf slumped down, her voice barely audible, "Why am I still here?"