Lu's little journey

so guys, i decided, because i love you so much, im turning alacritis into my journal and support group for this little journey of mine, but first you need to know the whole story.

this is most of the reason behind the depression ive felt lately, ive just been inadequate as a human and truly failing.


Back when i lived with my mom, those of you that have known me for about wow going on 2 years now? know that my mom was very abusive and more oft than not i was grounded with nothing to do and i was just freaking miserable. Well, this caused a minor form of depression with me and caused me to have a lot of health and weight issues, one of the problems i ended up with was I became bulimic. When my mom was around, she would often say things that upset me, and then i would gorge myself and then force myself to throw it all back up, Well, most of the time, i would fall asleep having just eaten but i had thrown up everything else i had eaten. So, my body logged away that final pre-bedtime meal as fat. and I ended up being at a high of 217 pounds. Most of you don't know that, ive always been ashamed and never would i have told you on a whim. this is me at my heaviest and I never want to go back. well, i moved out from my mom's to be with my dad, because of the abuse. This transpired into me remaining belimic until about three months ago. I still do it sometimes when i get upset, but im doing my best to stop and be healthy. Well, recently, ive been eating healtheir and I've even started working out two hours 4-5 days a week. They aren't some easy workouts, they are hard, rigorous, and tiring things. Usually i come home from these and have to nap. Well, today im about 35 lbs lighter, and i sit at about 185. Yes most of you think i weight a lot less, im tall, and muscular i dont show the fat much, but fact of the matter is, i want so badly to lose about 35-45 more pounds and I really need to have people that will help me stay disciplined. SO here i will post every day that i workout and also every single thing that I ate. if you think i need to add something to my diet, you want to correct me, or you want to just encourage me, please do. I lvoe you guys and trust that this is something i can do happily here. i also think this will help me stay motivated. I'll post pictures sporadically as i slim down and tone up.