list injuries (even first round, deductions beginning second)
Status
2/12 for Experience:
+1 beginner intellectual
+1 beginner fighter
5/5 for Health:
Pack member? y
Unhealed event status? n
Unhealed fight status? n
Aurielle’s round one total: 47/62
AMOS:
WRITING
10/10 for Power Play:
None seen!
7/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
-1 “...reaching far to his own left in hopes of snagging hold of her right front leg...” Is he reaching under her to get this leg?
Positioning
-1 if Amos' head is down far enough for him to reach under Aurielle to get at her right foreleg, wouldn't his neck have prevented her shoulder from hitting the right side of his chest?
Damage
-1 where on the back of his neck did he get bitten?
Attack
-1 where on her leg is he hoping to bite? At the ankle? The elbow?
4/10 for Attacks:
+2 for minor bite
+1 for grip
+1 for scratch
5/5 for Defenses:
5 counted
10/10 for Injuries:
first round
Status
5/12 for Experience:
+2 novice fighter
+3 intermediate intellectual
5/5 for Health:
Pack member? y
Unhealed event status? n
Unhealed fight status? n
Amos' round one total: 46/62
ROUND TWO
AURIELLE:
WRITING
8/10 for Power Play:
Excessive Movement
-2 for headbutt. By using a body part twice (slash + headbutt) you're not giving your opponent time to react.
10/10 for Clarity:
Movements
-0 “Simultaneously, her weight shifted to her other four limbs...” How many limbs does Aurielle have? ;)
Damage
6/10 for Attacks:
+2 for slash
+1 for shoulder throw
+1 for forward kick
+2 for headbutt
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 for tucked tail
+1 for narrowed eyes
+1 for ears flattened
+1 for raised hackles
+1 for weight distributed evenly
9/10 for Injuries:
-1 for mild lacerations to right foreleg
Status
2/12 for Experience:
+1 beginner intellectual
+1 beginner fighter
5/5 for Health:
Pack member? y
Unhealed event status? n
Unhealed fight status? n
Aurielle’s round two total: 45/62
AMOS:
WRITING
10/10 for Power Play:
None seen!
8/10 for Clarity:
Positioning
-1 “...aiming to bring his front end down on her back just where it met her shoulders...” 'Front end' is a little too ambiguous here since it covers the whole rib cage and the forelegs
Damage
-1 “He felt them grazing along his flank despite his efforts...” Where on his flank?
4/10 for Attacks:
+1 for chest slam
+1 bear hug
+2 for bite
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 for narrowed eyes
+1 for flattened ears
+1 for raised hackles
+1 for tail up for balance
+1 for toes spread
8/10 for Injuries:
-2 for moderate lacerations
Status
5/12 for Experience:
+2 novice fighter
+3 intermediate intellectual
5/5 for Health:
Pack member? y
Unhealed event status? n
Unhealed fight status? n
Amos’ round two total: 45/62
ROUND THREE
AURIELLE:
WRITING
10/10 for Power Play:
None seen!
9/10 for Clarity:
Damage
-1 “With her dash beneath Amos, his front end fell instead upon her rump, his forelegs only gaining a grip around her waist.” What damage did she take from this? Amos intended to cause bruising
3/10 for Attacks:
+2 for shoulder throw
+1 for grip with jaws
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 for hackles raised
+1 for pinned ears
+1 for narrowed eyes
+1 for tucked tail
+1 for claws dug in
9/10 for Injuries:
-1 for light bruising to back (damage assigned by judge)
Status
2/12 for Experience:
+1 beginner intellectual
+1 beginner fighter
5/5 for Health:
Pack member? y
Unhealed event status? n
Unhealed fight status? n
Aurielle’s round three total: 43/62
AMOS:
WRITING
9/10 for Power Play:
Godmoding
-1 “...eyes narrowed as they began rolling in the dirt...” You can't assume that Aurielle fell with Amos
8/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
-1 which leg did he use to kick a Aurielle?
Damage
-1 What happened to Aurielle's attempt to grab Amos' left hind leg?
3/10 for Attacks:
+1 for bear hug
+1 for kick
+1 for grip
4/5 for Defenses:
+1 for narrowed eyes
+1 for flattened ears
+1 for tucked tail
+1 for raised hackles
9/10 for Injuries:
-1 for light bruising to left hind leg
Status
5/12 for Experience:
+2 novice fighter
+3 intermediate intellectual
5/5 for Health:
Pack member? y
Unhealed event status? n
Unhealed fight status? n
Amos' round three total: 43/62
Totals:
Aurielle: 135/186 Amos: 134/186
And the winner is...
AURIELLE! Amos must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out.
Damage:
Both:
Bruising – 3 days
Lacerations – 4 days
Notes:
Tips for writing and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here):
