In these desprate times

Gargoyle was pleased that Awaken approved of the land. But he was more interested in his little story. Crazy white female? Well that could've been Desdemonda, but then, gods only knew how many whacked out wolves this place had been home to before. The brute was just about to comment when the conversation took a new and unexpected turn. Gargoyle's muzzle shut with a soft little snap. How he asked Ocena to be his mate? He blinked and stopped in his tracks - probably a relief to his tired friend. Awaken was really asking? It wasn't exactly something Gargoyle had ever shared before, and of course the first thing he wondered was -why? But the answer came quickly enough to mind. Girls talked about lovey dovey stuff all the time - just for kicks. Guys talked about it only when they had to. When they needed advice. A rather perceptive yellow glance was passed Awaken's way. Mercianne. Most everyone knew. Or at least, it was obvious to Ocena and Gargoyle had seen hints. Gargoyle knew that Awaken's memory was more or less shot, and even if it wasn't it was doubtful he'd have had any good couples to look to for support or inspiration.

He trusted Gargoyle enough to want to heart from him? Well, he wouldn't let him down. After his moment of thoughtful silence, the Chief gathered his hind legs and flopped his rump down. "Ocena and I..." he began. It was a little odd, telling the story, but it got easier as time went on. The memories were so precious to him. "We met on the old Glaciem border. She was looking for a home and I was finally returning after my many years away. I liked her then, I guess, but I wasn't looking for a mate." He shrugged. "I'd seen too much and done too much to ever think of anything like having a family." He didn't have to explain more than that. He figured that there, at least, Awaken would understand perfectly. "But we saw more and more of eachother around the lands, and when Mt. Animi exploded and we all migrated here - that is- this part of the world - well... we sort of helped eachother along. I don't know if you've been able to tell, but she's blind in one eye. I helped get her out of the chaos and quakes, and I helped guide her along the trail during the exodus." Those had been dangerous times, but he'd shone then. A wolf with his strength and ability, he'd taken the challenge of nature easily. "Somewhere along the way," he sighed,relenting himself to the admission, "I realized I loved her."

But his yellow orbs narrowed slightly as he remembered that night in Sparse Pines, neath the shelter of a great pine tree. He'd drug up a young dear carcass for 'Miss Ocena' as he still called her then. As the rain started pouring, they'd started talking. One thing had lead to another. "I finally told her one night. Admitted that I had feelings for her. But at that time..." He broke off, glancing at Awaken with eyes of the present. Awaken was a wolf that he felt he could trust. But he didn't unload his burdens onto other wolves without good reason. He'd continue to be vague. Perhaps someday he'd tell Awaken more about the four unaccounted for years in Gargoyle's life. But that was a story for a different time. "At that time I was still unsure of myself, and of how much I could be trusted. We've all got our dark side," he muttered, "and I refused to link my life with another's until I was certain I could control mine. I explained this to her. And-" Gargoyle's face altered slightly - showing a hint of emotion; of surprise. "And she understood. And she didn't care. She believed in me, even when I wouldn't. In time we came to find that that trust of hers was strong enough to pull me back, even from the brink itself. I've been a better wolf since then."

He shook his head for a moment, realizing that he was sounding like a sap. Aw, to heck with it all, he didn't care. He was allowed one tender spot in his life, wasn't he? "But this is all the background, you want to know about the actual question. That came a little while after I had begun my reign as Chief. Everything started clicking to together, I just knew it was time. I met up with Ocena in a one of the pine ringed clearings, and... and I asked her." he shrugged again, as though that was the best he could explain. It was something that was hard to put into words, but he was doing his best. A hint of grin had begun growing on his muzzle. Ocena was one of the rare wolves that could draw such an expression from him. Apparently the very thought of her could too. "She already knew I loved her, and I knew she, for some crazy reason I still don't understand, loved me. When she said yes I was the happiest wolf in the world." He paused for a second, making an odd sort of, almost wincing face: "I kind of, picked her up and threw her in the air - Gently! of course. Very gently. And I caught her and we lay in the snow for a while and talked about pups."

He faded off again into his quiet thoughtfulness. When it was put altogether, it was really quite a gem wasn't it? But he shook himself from his own musings and focused on Awaken, again. This was supposed to be in order to help him after all. "Anyway, what comes after that, is something you'll have to discover for yourself. Just, do the world a favor, and don't be too eager. Males are hardwired to procreate, but actually being mates, is something far more involved, and complicated and sometimes confusing. But itself also wonderful." He twitched his ear, as was his habit. He was done. His story was told. Time to see how his audience took it.