i will love you till the end of t i m e

Gargoyle heard Ocena's agreement to his words on hunting. Somewhere in his mind he was thinking away at where to hunt and who to take when Ocena's last words reached his ears.

"And maybe soon they'll have siblings to help teach...?"

At first he wasn't sure he'd heard her right. Gargoyle blinked, his face suddenly zeroing in on his mate, searching her eyes. Did she mean it? Really? More pups? He'd smelled the scent of her heat on her, of course, but he wasn't the sort to assume anything. He'd been around females all his life, heat or no he could still hold a proper conversation with them. Though... to be honest, Ocena pocessed the ability to make his paws weak at times. And the scent of her heat only served to remind him of last spring, and of their first night as mates. Gargoyle could think of nothing more perfect than the two of them together, unless it was the thought of the family they had created. And now Ocena's thoughts were turning to more pups? The heart within the beast did a quick doublebeat at the joyous thought. ? But he had to rein himself back. He had to say the thought that had knawed at his mind so terribly during their last litter that it had nearly killed him. He?d let the worry be shoved down and away during the joys and trials of the past seasons, but now it was that time again, and he could ignore it no longer. ?Ocena?? he began rather haltingly. ?Do you think- do you think we ought to?? Oh that was no good. All his eloquence seemed to leave him whenever he needed it most. Very well, he?d have to be blunt. ?What if the litter is bigger than three this time? What if the pups are larger or, worse, late?? He swallowed.

Their size difference was something so obvious that they?d never bothered talking about it. And normally it wasn?t a problem at all. He loved Ocena?s height. Dearly. He loved that he could carry her about by her scruff, or hoist her up on his back and take her through a ride through the woods. He loved being able to lay down and yet still be at comfortable speaking height. He loved how perfectly she fit into the crescent of his belly fur when they slept. And most of all he loved how she was so small that he could wrap himself around her like a blanket. It was times like that, when they were so close that he felt more at peace and yet more excited than he?d ever felt in all his life. His time spent with Ocena as mates was blessed with the sort of bliss that he hadn?t thought existed in this life.

If blame had to be laid at all, he?d put it on himself. He was the freakishly huge one. And though, usually he was quite proud of the fact? here it could lead to complications. ?Love, I could never forgive myself if I were to-to cause you harm.? Truth be told, he wanted more children, and he desired the closeness with his mate, -he was a male after all- but his care for Ocena would always overrule other concerns.