Cause I broke your heart

While the two stood only a dozen paces apart, it somehow felt like a massive canyon lay between them and if she said another word she might just fall in to her death. Her heart was in her throat and her ears fell flat as the dull growling of Shiva buzzed in them. Iskra wanted to snark at the feline, to tell her to get lost or something- but how could she? She had no right after disappearing like that. It felt like she was choking on all the words unsaid that filled this void between them.

"I... thought maybe you would be better off without me at one point." The admission left a bitter taste in her mouth and further pounded the nails of guilt and shame into her heart. He looked so hurt. 'You did that, you monster'

It was true. Every bit of that confused and hurting expression that was written on his face had been drawn by her foolishness. Suddenly feeling weak and broken all over again she sank to the ground, staring down at her ivory paws while she continued. "It took me so long to accomplish anything, and by the time I made it all across Boreas it had been ages. But I couldn't just stop there, because I wanted something to show for it all. I was too stubborn and stupid to turn around and check in with you. Then when I did it, it had been so long, I worried I took too long and that you'd move on or..." It was a shit explanation. Fitting, since she was quite convinced she was a shit person.

With all the things she wanted to add battling for dominance in her mind, she froze. There was too much to do, too much to say, but none of it was enough. None of it was good enough. It was with a shuddering exhale that she at last breathed in a voice so soft it was nearly inaudible, "I'm so sorry..." She didn't deserve to deliver a story that would satisfy. There wasn't one. Maybe she was just being selfish though, knowing that with more detail to enlighten him the worse a picture it painted of her. Iskra, the coward.