i will love you till the end of t i m e

He had pulled back a little as he spoke, needing to see his mate's expression, and more importantly needing her to see his. He wanted her to understand the protective worry that twisted in his belly. If he - if he were ever to lose her - and he hated even vaguely thinking of it - he wouldn't be the same wolf. Ocena cemented so much in his life. He had lots to live for, his sisters and their children, the pack and his friends, but the truth was that Ocena was in a class all her own. Without her, he'd loose his guiding star and he didn't like to think about what the loss and heartbreak might do to him.... Of course he would try his hardest to carry on for the pack and the kids and her memory if nothing else. But gods only knew if he'd succeed. Mentally, he shook his head. These were the sort of haunting visions that seeped into his mind when he started thinking down that track of thought. It was terrible! He hated them! But they were what made him so cautious over his mate. He guarded her the precious treasure she was. He was willing to sacrifice everything for her.

But she, it seemed, was willing to do the same for him. Her voice chimed in sweet and practical, about the risks that came with doing anything. It echoed something that he'd once said himself, about the fact that so long as a wolf was breathing, it had to be ready for the challenges that came along with it. The words worked to soothe him a bit. But he swallowed. He didn't mind throwing himself into the face of danger - elk, caribou, a snow leopard, boars, a bear, he'd taken them all. But endangering Ocena? That was something so different to him. He shrugged his shoulders a bit when she spoke of Mercianne. That was true, he guessed...

She moved in to nuzzle him, and the male closed his eyes, and lowered his head down to her, reveling silently in their touch. Of course he wanted to do more, to let them be more. A wolf only had so many years to live, and this was spring - their only chance for the next four season's time. It saddened him, it tore at him a little, to speak of denying them this, but that was how much he loved his mate. It was then that Ocena spoke, and her words proved just how much that love was returned. The male's eyes opened, wanting to focus in on hers. He drank in the words... She trusted him not to hurt her. She loved him enough to risk the dangers of childbirth. It... it took his breath away. In that moment he wanted nothing more to than tell her he loved her, but he found, with a swallow, that he couldn't speak. Only his eyes, lighting up like embers, were left to express it all.

Ocena's words took a pause, and then she added, that she wanted him to be happy. She was reading him so perfectly. And her next declaration - that she would be satisfied with the family they'd already made... well that sealed the deal. This mate of his - she was willing to face the pain of childbirth without a second thought, but she wouldn't see him worried. She'd push all her plans to the side, to keep him happy. Gargoyle shook his head. He couldn't believe it. "I don't deserve you." A growlish sound tore itself from his throat.

Suddenly he was moving forward, locking his right fore round her little form and pushing her back. There wasn't snow to soften a fall here, but Gargoyle counted for that. He moved like a bull, but he couldn't have been gentler. It was one excited rush forward, pushing Ocena onto her back, with his foreleg to slow and cushion her while his tongue came out to cover her face in wolf kisses. Had they been pups, they wouldn't have been cuter playmates. "Ocena..." he rumbled. He pulled his muzzle back from her, but not all the way - he let their nose tips touch and just sort of let his rest there comfortably. He didn't care how goofy it might look. This was love. He was careful not to squish her as he lay; the front half of his body was on her, their ribcages touching, but his hind legs were gathered and he kept the bulk of his weight off her. She was far too pretty a flower to let get crushed. He preferred to just look her, one leg benath her shoulders, keeping her close, the other laid out sphinx like beside her head. "My angel... why is it you love me?" he muttered, half chuckling, half sober. His voice teased her but it grew quieter as he added, "One year as mates, and yet the depth of your trust can still take me completely by surprise."