Ten Thousand Lightning Bugs

He took several deep breaths, trying to calm himself to no avail. The question was one of the worst he could imagine Rhyme asking because there was only one answer; “I d-d-don’t k-know.” He whispered hoarsely. “She w-w-would h-have d-d-died g-g-giving b-b-birth…” He said numbly. “C-church a-abandoned m-me w-w-when h-he c-c-could…” He let out a low whine, continuing to sway hopelessly as if it would bring him some kind of comfort. “It ends the same if I do or don’t.” He waited in silence, now he was sure the anger would come, the rejection, the inability to understand why he had done something so selfish to begin with. He would be alone again.