The Fear of Falling Apart

Shaye spoke about Rhyme, but Ashmedai dismissed it. He was more worried about the task at hand.

The alphaess explained that Sparrow had been getting herbs for another pack member and that she gave her life for her packmates. Ash let out a dry laugh, tears stinging at his eyes.

"Yeah, that sounds like something she'd do," he said, his voice cracking a little. His legs trembled, but not so much that it was visible. He wasn't sure how to handle the news. He wasn't ever sure how to deal with serious subjects when they affected him. Sparrow was the type to complain about not trusting anyone then throwing herself into trouble to save them.

He should have taken her earlier. Ash could have taken her when Bass left. She was shaken, she might have left with him if he had just pulled a little harder. But no, in the end she died for a pack she never truly felt loved her back.

She probably did it gladly. Maybe she even smiled, knowing her fate would save someone else. What a dumb, heroic thing to do. That's why Ash never played the hero.

"Did she ever... find anyone? She always wanted a big family."

He had to ask. Sparrow was... whatever she was to Ash, she was important. If she had kids, Ash would have no qualms protecting them for her. Not like a hero or anything. Just... as a protector.

He swallowed a lump in his chest, "Even if the Abraxas are gone, don't trust them."

Ash tried to clear his throat. It was important.

"There's a lot of them. Probably different factions too. Don't trust that what one says applies to all of them. They're 'gods' so they can do whatever they want, right?"

He wanted to warn her. If Sparrow died for this pack, he didn't want her to die in vain.