It was hard to handle the emotion in her voice. Caelestis wasn't exactly one to bottle up her emotions, but likewise he wasn't used to seeing her so.. vulnerable? As if his heart wasn't shattered by now, he felt it breaking a hundred times over, again and again with each glance he cast her way. Had he failed her? He could only hope she held no grudge against him now, though he wouldn't blame her one bit if she was angry with him. It hurt even worse when he noticed the tears that he'd thought were brimming in her eyes had started to spill down her cheeks, and she made no sign that she was trying to stop them. Despite his own best efforts he felt tears starting to slowly slide down his cheeks, though he tried his best to keep his voice level.
'You... aren't going soon are you? I.. I need you dad.' Fuck! The pain was almost too great to handle, and briefly he closed his eyes and tried to steady the way the world seemed to be swaying around him. "You don't need me," he told her solemnly. She didn't need him like this, not in this state, and he had no doubt that her seeing him like this for the rest of his days would only exacerbate the pain. Losing him now might hurt more than anything ever had for her, but the pain would lessen. Somehow, the pain of losing his own children had grown mildly bearable, though he wasn't sure it ever would. "You've grown to be a strong woman, Cael. You don't need anyone, especially me," he breathed. Was he even talking to Caelestis now? Somehow he was seeing Caelum before him, the younger version, the one in all his memories. He knew his daughter could survive on her own, and losing her parents would only make her grow stronger. Stronger than either of her parents had veer been.
Was there anything left to say? Delaying the inevitable would only make leaving harder for both of them. Tentatively, as if worried he might never leave at all if he touched her again, he moved to wrap his muzzle around her shoulder and pull her close in a firm hug. The tears were coming more freely now, staining the pale white fur of her shoulder and finally he let out a loud sniff. "I love you, Caelestis. Make us proud." The truth was that nothing she did could ever disappoint him - she was fearless and independent, a conglomeration of all of his good qualities and even more of Caelum's. With a heavy, shuddering breath he finally pulled away from Caelestis and turned to leave, certain he'd stay if he cast her one last look. He knew what he needed to do, and he had come to terms with it; he only hoped Caelestis could too.
-exit Zephyr-
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