Tell me what to do

She looked intently at Vail, soaking in the judgment in her sisters form, and letting it leave an ache in her heart. She knew she had done was wrong, she knew it like she knew her own pack lands. Never would she have allowed herself to commit such an act if she had been sober. Never could she admit to a single soul what it had felt like to be in his arms. She couldn’t let herself feel anything but disgust in herself, because any other kind of emotion would break her.

She could see Vail starting to back down, Shaye’s own anger at herself perhaps making it difficult for her sister to join in. “I know, I could never abandon Abaven, it’s just hard not to feel like a fool.” she sighed softly, as her sister pointed out that this could remain a secret between them. She winced, because she knew she could never tell anyone else. It would be her burden to bear. [n] “Thank you.. For listening” [/b] she said, uncertain what else to say. Trying to banish the drunken images of that night was hard when she was speaking about it. His delicate kisses, holding her in his arms. “This wasn’t how I pictured my first going…” the words where said with ears folding downwards and a sigh escaping her. She was old to have never experienced this aspect of life before, and she had always thought that it would be with someone she loved, she wouldn’t have a one nighter and almost hate her kids, as her mother had.