Attempts
-1 “Quickly and quietly, Ace strolled up behind the man like a cat stalking its prey.” This should have been attempted. The whole post is taken into consideration, not just the fight portion.
-1 “Ace launched himself at the man...” The “at” part of this got you in trouble. “Forward in the hopes of...” or “forward in an attempt to” are acceptable alternatives.
If/Than Statements
-1 “If the man's back was still towards him...”
6/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
-1 where on Vlad's thighs is he grabbing?
-1 “...paws seeking to claw the inside of Vlad's thighs.” I don't think this is a realistic attack for paws as Ace's wrists would have to bend pretty far for the claws to even touch Vlad's skin.
-1 how high on Vlad's spine is he trying to bite? Just above his hips? Mid back?
Positioning
-1 what is he distributing his weight evenly among?
-0 this is an observation not a deduction, but if a character tucks his chin and then stretches out his neck it negates chin tucking as a defense. You have double the needed defenses in this post so it doesn't matter, just keep this in mind for future judged fights!
7/10 for Attacks:
+2 for chest slam
+1 for clawing
+1 for grip
+3 for bite
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 for ears pinned
+1 for eyes narrowed
+1 for tail raised for balance
+1 for hackles raised
+1 for weight distributed
10/10 for Injuries:
none
Status
4/12 for Experience:
+2 Novice fighter
+2 Novice hunter
5/5 for Health:
Pack member? yes
Unhealed event status? no
Unhealed fight status? no
Acere’s round one total: 44/62
VLAD:
WRITING
10/10 for Power Play:
None seen!
0/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
-1 “His jaws aimed to close over the man's face, the top and bottom of his jaw aiming to be on both sides of his head...” Which jaw to which side of Ace's head?
-1 Which canine is he trying to pierce Ace's eye with?
Positioning
-1 How much did he turn? And what's his new positioning relative to Ace?
-1 “How far to the left are his hips compared to their original positioning?
Damage
-1 What happened to Ace's chest slam?
-1 Where exactly on his side did Acere bite him? Close to his hips? Mid back?
-2 “The males paws missed their mark, his nails scraping down his side and upper leg...” Which side and leg? Or both sides and legs? Losing a point for each paw here
-1 what's the severity of his injuries (or lack of them!) from Acere's claws?
-1 same as above but for the bite.
4/10 for Attacks:
+3 for bite
+1 for maim attempt
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 for raised hackles
+1 for narrowed eyes
+1 for widened stance
+1 for tail up for balance
+1 for ears flattened
10/10 for Injuries:
Minor bruising to right hip (damage assigned by judge)
Minor welts to outside of right thigh (damage assigned by judge)
Moderate bite wound to right side (severity determined by judge)
Status
2/12 for Experience:
+1 beginner fighter
+1 beginner hunter
4/5 for Health:
Pack member? no
Unhealed event status? no
Unhealed fight status? no
Vlad’s round one total: 35/62
ROUND TWO
ACERE:
WRITING
10/10 for Power Play:
None seen!
8/10 for Clarity:
Attack
-1 where on Vlad's neck is Ace hoping to put his forelegs?
-1 where is he hoping to grip with his claws?
9/10 for Attacks:
+2 for chest slam
+2 for bear hug
+1 for grip
+3 for bite
+1 for grip
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 for widened stance
+1 for tail raised for balance
+1 for raised hackles
+1 for narrowed eyes
+1 for pinned ears
10/10 for Injuries:
None
Status
4/12 for Experience:
+2 Novice fighter
+2 Novice hunter
5/5 for Health:
Pack member? yes
Unhealed event status? no
Unhealed fight status? no
Acere’s round two total: 51/62
VLAD:
WRITING
9/10 for Power Play:
Realism
-1 Considering how close they are, that both are rising up and both are the same height, I don't think it's reasonable to completely escape damage from Ace's jaws and chest.
3/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
-1 “...as he aimed to weap his own legs...” Which legs?
-1 where on Ace's neck is he looking to place his legs? Close to his head? Or down by his shoulders?
-1 More details are needed about his bite attempt. Is he tilting his head? Where does he want the rest of his teeth land?
-1 which canine is he trying to blind Ace's right eye with?
Positioning
-1 “He lifted himself up...” How is he lifting himself up? Is he standing on his hind legs? Straightening his legs and standing on the tips of his toes? Remember, judges can't assume anything in a fight so even if the answer seems obvious, unless something is detailed and stated plainly, you'll likely lose points in clarity.
-1 in one paragraph you said Vlad avoided Ace's chest but in the other you said he did. Which is it?
Damage
-1 how severe is the bruising to his chest? And where on his chest is it?
6/10 for Attacks:
+2 for bear hug
+3 for bite
+1 for maim attempt
2/5 for Defenses:
+1 for raised hackles
+1 for flattened ears
9/10 for Injuries:
-1 minor bruising to chest (severity determined by judge)
Status
2/12 for Experience:
+1 beginner fighter
+1 beginner hunter
4/5 for Health:
Pack member? no
Unhealed event status? no
Unhealed fight status? no
Vlad’s round two total: 35/62
Totals:
ACERE: 95/124 VLAD: 70/124
And the winner is...
ACERE! Vlad must give up by either submitting or passing out and is now a prisoner of Abaven/Acere.
