How did it come to this

He realized what he feared most was that she would bar him from their children. Their children. He mulled the words over in his mind, half still hoping he might have been wrong. But he wasn't. They'd made a huge mistake, but as Shaye began to speak he could see how fiercely she loved them. He could feel it too, and nearly lost the calm he so carefully wrapped around him.

He couldn't claim them. Rhyme felt his jaw slip open as his first reaction was to protest. "I.." he paused as she explained further, that she would allow the little ones to know who he was to them eventually. Could he promise this to her? Hide in shame his devotion to her and their unborn. Likely this would be the most difficult task he had ever undertaken. "You don't know how much I don't want to," he whispered, his eyes straying to her abdomen again. He didn't want to lie, not to his pups, not to the pack, not to himself. However, if Shaye would ask it of him... "I will. I.. Will never admit they are mine." Rhyme's words were slow and painfully drawn out. The oath would never be easy to keep. No matter how much it pained him to agree. She asked so much of him. He wanted to be their father, despite only knowing of their existence for a few minutes he wanted them desperately.

He wanted to tell her how much she was hurting him, but he kept his words to himself. He had to resolve himself to be strong for her, so he could make up for his mistakes that he had made with her. To make up for how much he loved her when he shouldn't.