Living Not Alive

*Actaea* · 02-01-2019, 09:51 PM

She was wrapped up in displacing her emotions, venting in a rather unhealthy way. Emotions had not been something she was taught to deal with. Her mother hadn't even had the time to teach her. She had suppressed a lot since the night she was saved by uncle, mostly because Uncle never liked to talk about what happened. It was his way of dealing with the emotions, but for her she hadn't figured that out yet. She was alone, or so she thought, and so she kept grabbing and shredding bark. If she wore herself down enough maybe she could bury those emotions again, maybe she could get rid of them all together. She had a large piece of bark within her mouth ready to shred it when suddenly Shaye's neutral voice rang out through the air, shattering her fit of rage instantly. For a moment she stood there before her eyes looked to the damage she had done to the tree. She didn't realize how much she had ripped away the bark and to actually see and register that she had done that destruction made her just drop the piece in her mouth and flop back onto her haunches.

She was ashamed, staring at the ground and unable to look at her mentor. Her ears laid flat against her skull like a pup being caught doing something wrong. Her eyes still wide as she simply stared at the tree, unable to even form words that would make sense. How would she even begin to tell Shaye? How could she even explain these feelings when she really didn't know what they were. She took a shaky breath. She was no better then her father, she was a failure at being a good girl and maybe that's why he left her, why he hadn't bother finding her when he came back. The only thing she could do was drop her head and begin to sob unable to do anything else at this moment, overwhelmed by everything hitting her, blaming herself, angered by her father.

"speak" & 'thoughts'

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Living Not Alive

Actaea