All in all you're just another brick in the wall
Torin's reaction wasn't one he quite expected, and as his son turned to look at him with a stone cold expression, Zell couldn't help but feel indifferent towards it. He probably deserved that look, but at the same time he felt like he didn't. He had tried a few times to do what he could for the pack, but nobody seemed to care until he stopped. He was tired of getting yelled at and berated for stupid shit, especially after the last time. After that, he stopped giving a fuck. He did his own thing. If Torin wanted to play the big bad alpha he thought he was, then so be it. He seemed to care more for that rainbow mutt then his own damn blood, and Zell was quite tired of chasing his sons tail trying to do things he thought was right, but always seemed wrong in Torin's eyes. When Torin laughed, the tears rolling down, Zell stood there without a reaction. Maybe he was a dick for that, but after feeling nothing but anger and loneliness for so long, how could he just suddenly bring himself to feel anything other than that?
"I buried Naeva this morning." If Zell was shocked to hear that, he hid it very, very well. He didn't quite know which of Jewell's pups Naeva was, but he supposed it didn't matter. He had been told to stay away from them, so that's exactly what he did. Torin continued, and Zell stood there. Motionless. He gazed steadily at his son, and when he finished, Zell took a moment before he answered. "I'm sorry to hear that." He murmured. He knew he and Torin had never seen eye to eye. Knew they didn't get along like they should have. They held resentment for one another, he was sure. But that girls passing wasn't his fault. And he sure as hell didn't hate the child. He didn't hate the children at all. He had nothing against them, never wished them any ill will. But to him, it sounded like he was being blamed for something that wasn't his fault. If she died thinking she was hated, then her mother had obviously been incapable of taking care of her child. He occasionally saw the others...the rare times they decided to show themselves around the pack. But it seemed that his son would only point the finger at him.
"I didn't hate the girl. I don't hate any of those children. It's not their fault their mother was incapable of taking care of them. And instead of pointing the finger at me and acting like it's my goddamn fault, why don't you take a long hard look in the mirror, hm? You're the all mighty alpha. You should have been paying more attention, and maybe, just maybe... she'd still be alive." His voice had a hard edge to it. Was it fair of him to say that? Probably not. But what did it matter anymore? He was tired of the bullshit. Tired of feeling like he was the only one always in the wrong because Torin favored someone his mother had adopted like a dumbass. Only to leave them all behind. Because of her betrayal, Zell had shutdown. Anger and acting like an asshole was the only way he knew how to cope with his broken heart. I did as I was told, and I kept my distance from those pups. Do you know how hard that was? After all of you grew up, it would have been nice to spend some time with kids again."
He sighed, dropping his haunches to the ground and took a deep breath. Things should have been so much different...and he wished they could be. "Maybe if I had been allowed around them, she would still be alive had I been able to be there for her." His voice was a little softer. Hesitant, even. But as it was, he couldn't change anything about it now. The girl was already dead. And it was too late for anyone to do anything about it. |
