Put the pieces back together
02-27-2019, 10:42 AM
The same painful rush of nostalgia hit her at the same time, nearly knocking her over where she stood. If she didn't know better, she'd wonder if she was dreaming but she knew the pain that tugged at her heart was too raw to be anything but real. There was so much he needed to know, to understand, but she already knew what she'd told him had been too much. She wasn't sure he'd ever fully believe her side of the store, not after she'd forged their relationship on a foundation of lies and deceit from the very beginning... but she needed to try. Would he believe her that her feelings had been true? Perhaps not at first, but time had caused her to fall deeply in love with him and nothing about that had ever felt staged, despite the circumstances. He'd somehow both calmed her and challenged her, a small glimmer of peace and security in a world otherwise chaotic; even her own mind often seemed like a whirlwind that only he could tame. Even now she felt the world slow as he approached her, his scent wrapping around her like a vice, his warmth slowly melting away all the icy cold that had gripped her. His touch was all she needed to feel okay. It was as though she'd been holding her breath for so many seasons now and all at once she felt the weight lessen, her chest no longer quite as constricted as she breathed a heavy sigh of relief. "I'll give you all the answers you need. In time, I swear it," she assured him carefully. Kirsi had no doubt that their conversations wouldn't be pretty ones, and there were still some things she wasn't sure she could bring herself to tell him, but the present wasn't the time to figure that out. A soft whine fell from her lips, a sound she hadn't meant to make at all, as her own snout buried into his fur. How had she existed for all this time without him, after everything that had happened? While part of her felt relieved, she felt a sudden overwhelming grief claw at her heart - and the next sound she made was a pained, helpless sob as she leaned into him heavily and felt tears prick at her eyes. "I've wanted nothing more to spend every moment with you for... so long now," Kirsi started softly, words meant only for him. Even if anyone else lingered nearby, their quiet chatter would be drowned out by the whistling bitter winds. She wished she could say she'd felt that way since they day they met but she couldn't. The feeling hadn't come long after, though. She remembered the exact day, too - the moment she realized he'd captured her heart completely. "Do you remember the day we both realized it?" It was so clear in her head, and she knew the moment had been clear to the both of them, despite how young they had been. "I'd challenged you to a race and I was so distracted by how stupidly handsome you were that I ended up falling down the hill we were racing down." It'd been such a simple moment, but she realized how enamored she was with him by how easily he'd caused her to lose a composure. She'd been so sure she would win that race, too, that she'd been totally stunned by her misstep. Her mind was assaulted with memories, some more pleasant than others, of him licking her sore paw after her stumble and how they'd both fallen asleep together as the sun fell. Somehow they'd lost track of time and Ig had awoken in a panic, certain he'd be punished back home for staying out all night. So many of their memories were like that, small snippets of time that felt somehow secluded from the rest of the world, from all their peers and their family - Kirsi sighed at the way the nostalgia tugged at her now, trying to sniff away the tears that had begun to fall. "I'm sorry, Ig. Please. don't make me go." Kirsi rarely asked for anything, let alone leaned on anyone, but with Ignatius everything was different and she felt like she couldn't bear being pulled away from him again. |