what do

Peggy stared down into the rushing water of the wide, muddy river. In a perfect world this would have been the time to be staring at her reflection in a pool of water, but if this was a perfect world she wouldn't be in this particular conundrum, and being a generally down-to-earth sort she didn't generally go in for dramatics anyway but she would have made an exception in this case.


She was pregnant.


The signs had been there for some time now, but she had been steadfastly ignoring them. Constantly making excuses for the symptoms. But she was too much the healer not to put them all together, and she was forced to admit the truth, even if only to herself.


She had always in her heart wanted a family. Wanted a mate who loved her, wanted to raise their pups together. She would raise them in Abaven like her mother had always said she had regretted not being able to do. Her mate would join her there and they would both rise through the ranks and Abaven would thrive because of them. She loved children, and raising her own to be the happiest and best they could be was a dream come true.


But here she was, pregnant and alone. If she could find him, he would surely come with her. He would want to do the right thing by her and raise their pups together. But in her heart of hearts she didn't want him to just do the right thing. She wanted him to be with her because he wanted to be. Because he loved her. Not because they had created these lives together by accident. Besides... She didn't even know the man's name, let alone how to find him. It was impossible, and the white-and-gold girl slumped dejectedly by the river and considered her options.


She would have to tell Shaye and Rhyme, of course, though the realization filled her with chagrin and reluctance. She had never really bonded with either of them, and the idea of going to them to admit having been so foolish was… difficult. Not that either of them could judge her, she thought to herself. Not after what they'd done together.


She would need to tell Corvus. She didn't even know how to begin with that. He was more than her cousin, he was her best friend, and she had already been avoiding him over her deep embarrassment over the fact that their cousins had a litter together. She didn't want him to think badly of her - out of everyone in their shared family and their pack he was the one whose opinion most mattered to her.


So as she sat staring into the flowing, muddy water, it was with mixed feelings concerning the lives growing in her.