Knives & Pens

He threw the accusation at her, and she could understand it. Why didn’t she want someone to bring her back? Why was she out there? “Once I knew where she was, I would have ensured there was no predators nearby, that she had food. I would have sent someone to speak to her.. Vail, perhaps. Bringing her back would have hurt her, i’m not saying I would have abandoned her.. I’ve already failed her, and forcing her to come back would have failed her again.” she explained, before taking a breath. She needed to give him the full story, he needed to understand what was wrong with Tana, only then might he be able to help her.

"She tried to kill her children, we didn't understand why at the time, but I think I do now" she would circle back to that why shortly. "My and rhyme.." she sighed, she knew now it would never be. should never be. She was an old wolf who would die alone.. but that was unimportant to her explanation. She was, however, going to have to air some of her dirty laundry for Acere to fully understand the situation. She would not lie to him. "Where going to give life together a go. We had children together... as you already know. Tana found out, and abandoned her children alone in the den in the middle of a snow storm. I don't know if she truly meant for her unweaned, tiny children to die, but Rhyme found her. She told him he had to pick her or she would leave. Frightened for their children, he agreed. He came to talk to me about it, and I realized how big a mistake it was to try, and broke things off. We have kept a strictly professional relationship since." It was wrong of her to love him, and she buried her feelings.

"He didn't rekindle a relationship with her even after, I think he was too angry at the way she had used her children's lives as pawns - but I think I understand now why she did." Again, she would circle back to that.

"Then the smallest of her litter, the runt, barely a season old and not even to the height of my knees, who falls into seizures at the drop or a hat, and has asthma issues.. tracked an adult through roguelands she had never visited, despite her inability to breath, at the pace of an adult, across leagues of territory, with only Tanas scent on her. I returned the pup - if it was only an issue of her losing track of the child, I would have approached things differently. Instead, I demanded to know why she had risked her child's life, but she seemed to have no memory of doing so. She lunged at me, and i was beginning to realize just how sever her injuries on the inside where. I reacted defensively, I pinned her down gently without hurting her. When I saw the terror in her eyes, I released her, afraid of doing more psychological damage. She grabbed her child and fled from me. I don't know if letting her go was the right thing, I feared for her child, but I knew holding her was hurting her so much on the inside. If I had known at the start how badly the injuries inside where, I might have done things differently. I failed her terribly, and the demons that haunt her.. I know she doesn't mean to hurt her children. I'm glad you found her, Acere, and I truly hope you can help her. I don't know how to help her, and all Rhyme can see is the way she constantly endangers their children. I had hoped one of my wolves would find her so I would know she was ok, but you finding her is even better." she couldn’t presume to call Ace hers, even though she still let him stay in the pack lands, and would not rescind her welcome to him. Aceres family had a history of mental demons and unhinged wolves, well ace himself had kept his sanity. Perhaps.. perhaps he would be able to save her from herself in a way that shaye had not been able to. It was clear from his voice that he was feeling protective of her. This warrior, who was unable to simply turn his back on a wolf in need. She admired him so much for it. "Don't make the same mistakes I did Ace, find a way to help her. " She asked of him, blue eyes intent on the white wolf before her. Despite everything, she had a lot of respect for him. She was realizing how she did not hold all the answers, and was surrounding herself with higher ranking wolves to help her make decisions. If she had realised how much a leader needed this, perhaps she would have done things differently with him at the battlefield. She truly hoped he learned from her mistakes. She knew he was going to make an amazing alpha.