the downward spiral

The sound of pawsteps made her take paise, and the smell of Valentine reached her nose. She didn’t wish for him to see her like this. Unnaturally she panicked and wasn’t sure what to do, she felt.. shame? She lifted her head from the fruit and decided to just sit down. The pain in her joints wasn’t quite as sever this many in, she felt better so why did it hurt so bad to know Valentine would likely see and smell her?

What had she done to get to this point? This was not what she had planned to do with her afternoon but the thoughts were there and Valentine’s presence forgotten. She didn’t want to be this waif that haunted legion. She wanted to be helpful she wanted to be involved with Valentine’s.. kids. No matter how she felt about the explanation of their existence. But she hurt, her body was old and it protested heavily to the abuse endured for so long. She had become a burden. Maybe she would be better off remaining outside legion. She could be close, but also wouldn’t be sucking off Legion’s resources. Feather could help her to scavenge, she would survive for a while. Maybe it would be better if the winter would just take her quietly into its cold arms.

Drunken mind decided rhythm stood again, Feather chirping more insistently as her paws moved her forward. She was on a mission, this was no ambling drunkard. With purpose behind her steps Rhythm quietly went out to seek a new den. For about four steps before she stopped and sat down again, sudden clarity shining through her clouded mind. ”Well, what should I do, Feather?” Her words hinting on desperation. ”Will you feed me berries and nuts so my weight might not be felt?” The birds chirps softened slightly for a moment before looking to Valentine and adding another sharp quick note.

Rhythm’s dark ears fell to her skull as she remembered his presence and felt ashamed all over again. ”Valentine.” She whispered as tears welled up in her cloudy eyes. ”I need help.”