Moving day

*Zeitgeist* · 07-17-2019, 11:10 AM

Zee's stomach churned as he spoke, and the further he made it into his speech the harder it was to hold her gaze upon him. His eyes were downcast, and she wished she could see inside them to judge his feelings fully. Her heart wrenched hard deep within her chest, but waited until he finished to speak again. "You are not a slave." She began, voice firm yet quiet. Slowly she slumped down onto the floor, leaning her back against the stone to draw strength from it's cool chill. "You may have been when you were young, but today in this pack you are not. If you love her, you should be with her." There was the matter of her children of course, but if Sirius was the one Deathbelle spoke of who owned her heart, then surely the Empress would find a way to make it work.

"I want you to be happy, my friend. I may not have the freedom to be with whom I want, and maybe I never will. If you don't take your chance at happiness then you're spitting in the face of us who want to but cannot." She did her best to let her voice stay calm and soft, so that Sirius wouldn't feel like she was chastising him. Her heart felt as if it wanted to shatter imagining her Mistress in the guard's arms, lofting Sirius up to a rank he deserved but that kept him far from Zee's reach. A selfish part of her wanted to find reason to be angry with him again if only so it didn't hurt so badly to push him away.

"Deathbelle's comfort is, as always, the first priority." Her murmur came after a while. It was beginning to pain Zee terribly to see how Sirius put the other woman first, and she hated herself for thinking that way of her mistress. Even with the respect she held for the royal wolf, she couldn't help but see her as an obstacle. It was unbecoming of a slave, and Zee hoped desperately she could be a good enough servant and friend to the Empress to not hold Sirius' love against her. "I understand. I - I didn't expect anything different, to be honest. I assume I will not be loved in that way until after the day comes that I leave here, if I even survive it." There was always the option to earn her freedom too, but Zee wouldn't even know how to begin. It took Sirius his entire life to be freed by his Klein masters, and she was not nearly so patient.

"I say these things to you not to make you uncomfortable, and I hope it doesn't change things between us. I respect your choice fully, and if the day comes where you stand by her side as ruler of this pack then I will gladly bow at your feet, too." A pause, and she couldn't help but burst out her closing statement. "Just know that I love you regardless of your feelings for me, and please act with that in mind. You're kind of an idiot sometimes -" She gave him a small, fond smile of apology. "- and as your moral compass I need to remind you that to invite a woman into your den is usually a bad idea if you don't share feelings or blood." A sigh of finality and sadness having finished with her heavy words, wanting desperately to have just not said anything at all. She tried to force her usual level of sass into her words, hoping it would bring some regularity back into the conversation. "You can't take it back now, though. You've made me a cozy room and everything. That would just be rude."

"Speech"
"Thinking"
"You."

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Moving day

Zeitgeist