His glanced up at her, only to find her own gaze had drifted downwards. No doubt what he had to say wasn't anything close to what she had hoped. He didn't know if his crazy possessive feeling to her was love, and he was uncertain if he dared to find out. She was prompting him to be with Deathbelle, which stood in contrast to her earlier words of falling for him. He dared not look up again, worried what he would find in her gaze. She didn't know the complicated, seething mass of thoughts and feelings he held in regards to Deathbelle. He worshipped her, which was hardly the grounds for an equal relationship.
She continued to tell him to go for it, for she might never get the chance to have a wolf she loved. The protective growl rose a little inside of him again. Hmm. He didn't like the thought of her by herself, or with another wolf. That was something he was going to get over, because she herself was already proving selfless in her desire to see him happy. How could he do any less for her?
He felt more than a little uncomfortable as Zee mentioned him one day ruling this pack no he thought, that wasn’t going to come to pass. “It matters not, she has invited the father of her children to this pack, and shared affections with another. Either of these two men can offer her more than I, and already found purchase in her heart. I will love her always, but I do not ever see myself being with her. I never have.” he said softly, “I spoke of Deathbelle not to hurt you, but so that you understand exactly the position I am in. Deathbelle considers me hers, and I can not see her forgiving me a transcretion, even if she and I would never be” in other words, he fully expected this life to be a loveless one.
“You love me?” he whispered softly, he couldn’t seem to raise his voice any louder then this. “But why? For all the times I've hurt you, demanded your respect of the Kleins, threatened you. why? ” he asked with a soft intensity, like her answer might mean the world to him. “I don’t mean to hurt you Zee, but if I would mark you mine this very moment, if I could.” the possessiveness he could not deny, and he hoped she would not see the true intensity of it. He had a feeling it would frighten her if he knew just how strong that feeling had begun to grow. “This den is yours now, as much as it is mine. If you wish me to make changes to the structure to suit you, let me know. I will bring in bedding and a hang a fur from the door to keep in the warmth.” he explained her plans to her in a distracted voice, his thoughts still on the heavier part of their conversation.
"Speech"
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Bloodletter
