Moving day

*Zeitgeist* · 07-18-2019, 12:43 AM

Sirius' response came to her differently then she anticipated, and she needed a quiet moment to absorb it. With every conversation the pair had she learned more of this strange man and his motivations. He loved Deathbelle - terribly and with every part of him. She loved him too, but from Zee's prior conversation with the Empress it was the pressure of her family that kept her from him as well as his own worries. The two seemed a troubled pair, and Zee wasn't sure if she wanted to take happiness from their complicated distance or be sad for her two friends.

The selfish side of her spoke up as Sirius changed the perspective. Now the conversation was not centered on the guard rejecting his empress, but instead on how their mistress would feel if he were to claim Zee as his own. "If.. if she has committed herself to another, and you are adamant about not stepping in as her equal.. then what stops you?" She had to ask, feeling anxiety pool in her chest once more. "I can't imagine loving someone and not wanting them to be happy, as I want for you. Do you truly feel that Deathbelle would hate you for falling in love with someone else when she herself has two men in her bed?" It felt harsh, and Zee suddenly felt like the worst handmaiden in the world. She looked so highly upon her mistress yet here she was making assumptions and speaking behind her back. "Would she even need to know?"

He asked why she loved him, and Zee had so much she wanted to let spill out. However to speak her true feelings - especially when Sirius seemed so uncomfortable with them - felt cruel. She murmured something unintelligible under her breath, before repeating it louder for him to hear. "You don't know what I've done to get here. Or the reasons why. My entire life I've held my goals firmly in sight, befriending or fucking anyone who could give me the slightest chance at greatness. Since I could remember, I've dreamed of having a pack of my own. I've never wanted anything so fiercely."

She paused, exhaling a shaken puff of breath. "Until I met you, Sirius. You are endearing and yet frustrating. Kind when you need to be and firm when you're pushed. You make me feel safe and protected and like nothing bad could ever happen. You annoy the living daylights out of me but every time I'm away from you I can't wait until I can see you again. I love you for all that you are. I'd stay forever in this pack as a mere slave - beaten and broken - if it meant I could wake up beside you."

The confession was exhausting, and her head slumped down into her paws so that her nose pressed firmly against the stone floor. Some part of her expected him to leave, or kick her out. He'd not withdrawn his offer yet, however. How honest could she be before she drove him away from her - or worse, into Deathbelle's arms instead?

"Speech"
"Thinking"
"You."

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Moving day

Zeitgeist