When I'm all choked up, but you're okay

Had she known she would be mostly left to her own devices in a world she had no clue about, Dea probably would have stayed away. She was definitely not alright, her belly was growing larger every day, and she was moody, to say the least. It was an odd sensation, being alone in a pack full of wolves, knowing company was a breath away but not wanting to actively seek attention. Dea was a monster of the shadows, a hellish demon queen, and yet...here she was, piddling her days away with remedial tasks. She missed Archon, and wanted to run to him, but something held her back. Something felt...different. A sense of dread filled her from head to tail, making her cold even on warm days. A deep foreboding took over and it seemed to destroy her from within.

Dea had expected her pregnancy to be much different than it had been. While she had made a promise not to leave his side, it would seem that Archon had all but forgotten her. She had tied her life to his, but now she felt like dirty washing hung out to dry. The gentle swaying of her rounded belly as she walked only served to remind her how truly alone she felt in this alien world of hierarchy. It was almost as though she were walking through the ravine with her mother once again. Vianni had no intention of coming back for her once the rocks fell, though Dea had made it out alone. Growling softly at the memory, Dea kicked a rock with a swipe of her paw, her dark pink gaze staring hateful daggers after the stone bounced away a few yards.

Why would he drag her here just to leave her at the doorstep? Did she really have to be here, or could she simply leave? If she left, she would feel like a coward and she knew it, her guilt would eat her alive. Gently, she lowered her frame onto a smooth rock next to the lake, looking into the still waters and eyeing her reflection. "Guess this joke is on you, Demon Queen." She said sarcastically, swatting at her face in the lake and growling. Demons didn't get to be loved, they were to be feared. She had been raised as a veritable weapon, but here she was lovesick and unsure of how to handle her new feelings or her new surroundings. Misery dogged her, and she realized she was pining over the absense of something she never even had to begin with. She felt...dirty. Used.

She had a promise to keep and it was too late to back out now. So Dea was stuck, left to her own devices in a world she had no experience with. With a sad and heavy sigh, Dea hung her head over her paws and stared, letting a few tears shed into the water to ripple away. It had to be pregnancy making her needy, making her emotional, but other things factored heavily into the demon's mood. For a wolf who had only been in a family group made of siblings and her parents, Dea was not used to social structures or rules that were not her own. Hell, she had barely gotten used to the idea of having the band members around her.

Shifting in her stomach drew her back to reality, and where she used to smile, now she wanted to weep. "I wanted better for you..." She whispered in a softly broken voice that didn't feel like hers, her children shifted in her womb, bringing a sad smile to her face. Something was eating at her, but she couldn't figure it out. Perhaps it was the pregnancy making her so, but she couldn't shake the feeling of impending doom from her frame. What would her next step be?