don't turn away now

He fought the urge to look away, again feeling both ashamed and embarrassed for what he had confessed. Never had he told anyone of this, except for maybe Actaea at one point in time, but he couldn't quite remember. Everything seemed to shift so quickly in his life, the alabaster warrior fighting battles on all sides and always it was an uphill war for him it seemed. He swallowed back the emotion that threatened to overtake him when he thought about how much he had failed his dear Winter, but he remained still as he tried to be the pillar that others so desperately needed him to be. He always tried to be what others needed, giving himself to others no matter the cost to him most of the time.

Ears shifted slightly as Heloise began to stand, swaying slightly which nearly dared him to catch her should she fall. But she managed to remain on her feet, and slowly but surely made her way to him as she spoke. Despite their height difference, he found himself nearly looking up with his head in a bowed and almost defeated position. He had been so worried about her, that stature and pride didn't matter. She told him she loved someone too, once upon a time. And by her own teeth he was gone...just like he had done to Elias. And while he hadn't directly killed Winter, it dawned on him that she truly did understand.

"but you do not have to do it alone. I told you that once, didn’t I?” He blinked slowly as his brow tugged downward, "You did," He whispered quietly. He remembered that day all too well. Even if it hadn't been that long ago. She reached out to press her nose against the thick fur of his neck which in turn caused the alabaster male to hold in a shaky breath. “I do not wish to leave, but I must know what I am to you. And I… would like to discover that, with you.” He found himself shifting his head to bring it against hers, eyes closing tightly as his heart threatened to leap from his chest. Could she feel it? Could she hear how hard it pounded? Whether from fear or exhilaration, he didn't know. All he knew was that he had been too close to losing her.

Never did he think he would feel this again. For so long he avoided it. Buried it like bones long forgotten. Then he told himself he was too old for love. He had lost his chance long ago and he had been unwilling to try after his loss. And yet...here she was. Younger, sure. But age didn't matter entirely (to an extent, for he would never love someone younger than her). She wasn't Winter, but someone who not only reminded him of what he had lost, but someone he had grown to care for in such a short amount of time. They were so alike and yet so different. She was evidently, the piece of the puzzle that he had been missing for so long. A soft whine slipped past his inky lips as he pressed himself tighter against her, seeking to bring his head over her neck and gently pull her closer without disturbing her injured body. He was showing a side of himself he was always so careful to hide, and yet...more than once she had seen how vulnerable he truly was.

"I..." At last, he remembered he had a voice. And he also remembered her ambitions, and what she had wanted to do. Did she still want that? He wouldn't hold it against her if that's what she so chose. "I do not wish to stop you from pursuing your ambition," He would begin to say, "Whether by my side...or not, you are free to do as you wish," His heart which had slowed down had started to pick up again, the alabaster titan feeling like it would burst. "You are very important to me, Heloise. I only wish for you to be happy. I was a fool before, a coward even. I was afraid to admit how I felt and I was in denial about it...but...knowing that you feel something for me, how can I still deny it? Deny you?"

He pulled back for a moment, deep crimson meeting pale blues. He nearly tried to convince himself that this was only happening because he had just rescued her...but no. He knew that wasn't true. He too, had felt some form of connection with her when they had first met, and in the two days it took for her to reach a decision, he had been restless while waiting for her arrival. He had immediately wanted to put her in a rank that he knew would suit her well, but he did not want to be so hasty nor feel like the others would judge him for it. Even so, she had proved herself worthy over and over, and he felt she deserved more than what he could offer.

By this point, he had managed to somewhat steady himself. Funny though, how something so simple yet so complicated made him feel like a young fool in love again. She had captured his heart, and he was enthralled with her since day one. He just...hadn't been ready to admit nor accept it. He knew what he wanted to say next. Three simple little words...only they weren't so simple for him to say...

"Acere"||Winter