Holding On To You

He didn’t say a word as she cuddled up to him but didn’t move away from where he was. He felt disgusted with himself, he knew he would need an heir one day, but not so soon. He looked at the girl as she rested beside him and felt his stomach clench. Was this what love was supposed to feel like? The cold hesitation? The nervous wringing in his gut? The shame as if he had just done something wrong? In a way he had, he’d taken Philomena out of wedlock, although he wasn’t sure the savage wolves of Boreas understood matrimony.

“I’ll stay.” He muttered into the darkness, knowing those words at least were for Philomena. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to think of something to say, something he could do to settle his own rattled nerves. What would his siblings think if she got pregnant? Or worse, what if she didn’t get pregnant and they needed to relive this awkward moment. He willed himself not to think about that, no longer sure he could give her what she wanted.

speaking Thinking   You