do not pass go

“Walking sucks more than sand up your butt crack - and I would know, I told you about the time I also died in the desert, right?” [/b] he grumbled, kicking at the dirt with a little paw as he considered. The lack of trees around here really sucked. He didn’t want to be slogging through the mud like some uncouth barbarian.

“Well, my sister does have this awesome set of antlers still connected to the coat. If you get help me get something cooler then what she has, you’ve got yourself a deal.” he decided, not one to turn away the offer of prizes easily. After all, he had come to this heathen Northern Island in the hopes of coming home with things to be proud of.

He sighed, looking around them as he tried to puzzle out the way South from here. He was pretty sure he had the right of it, so with utmost confidence in his stride, he would pick a direction and set out. “So, this time I was hanging out in a tree, minding my own business, and definitely not stalking your brother” Er, well, mostly, but yeah, anyway… “Something he said was really weird. Tell me, do you guys really not know how babies are made?” he asked, genuine curiosity with a hint of shock to flavour his words.