How do I grow up

Viviane stood balanced atop the wall, alertly sweeping the land around the pack boundaries. Sentry duty had become a lot more... real these past seasons, with a pack of strangers laying claim to the lands right next to theirs, and then the volcano blanketing the sky in ash and threatening lives in the lands closest to its base. Every night she saw the sullen glow in the distance, and no stars. It was a stark reminder of how fragile everything they had was, and how important an early warning could be. Sentry duty wasn't just a game (or punishment, depending on how she felt about it that particular day) ot had a real purpose and gravity. Viviane was no fighter, but that didn't mean she didn't have just as much desire to keep the pack safe as Artur, or Cairo. So, she had begun to take her turn at sentry duty much more seriously. Today she had eschewed the hide tent that was meant to provide shelter and camouflage for the sentry, in favor of having a better view of the distant source of the ash cloud. She was careful to keep her attention on her duties, but every omce in a while her gaze would fix worriedly on that distant threat. There were eolves out there in danger, maybe needing help. What if Geoffrey was out there, hurt? Tears, as much of frustration as anything else, welled up. Artur was right - she should have been pushong for training. She should have been going to someone outside the pack. Instead she had chickened out instead of staying when Artur and Geoffrey had made a deal with Abaven for training. Now more than ever Valhalla needed her to have been trained and she had done nothing to pursue that. Maybe Aurielle hadn't just been too busy - maybe she had expected them to show their dedication by actively seeking out training. And here she had been holding back while her siblings went out and sought out training... and now she was just a useless weight on her siblings and the rest of the pack. She wasn't a fighter, she wasn't much of a hunter. If someone got hurt or sick, she couldn't even do anything to help them. All she could provide for the pack was sitting on the wall watching for danger, a duty so unskilled and simple that they'd assigned pups to it. Viviane drooped a little with a despondent sigh, though she kept her gaze roving. An important task, but one that literally any of the other pack members could perform while also actually being good at their chosen skills.