Never again

The woman had left Ears and Whiskers back in the den, stole away into the night when yet another nightmare shook her from her slumber. It honestly felt like she was going crazy, flashes of her past haunting both sleep and her waking hours. The more she tried to resist their existence the more they seemed to pop up… Bells hated it. Hated waking up shaking and feeling that damned sense of fear she had tried to drown during her time as a slave. Why was it showing up here and now? Was it because she was finally revealing bits of herself to the members of Winterfell…? Bellamy found herself afraid of becoming vulnerable… the feelings had her pushing herself away from the member of the Winterfell… and yet, at the same time, longing to reach out for some sense of comfort. She couldn’t make sense of her emotions and they were starting to overwhelm her.

Whiskers had said time and time again it was good that she was among her own kind again; wolves are pack animals after all… But she questioned if it was right for her to be here. She was out of place… broken… she was a stranger…

Doubts filled her as much as the fears and nightmares did…

Ears flicked back against her skull as another flash of a pup, a mix of light and dark fur, appeared in her head. A look of fear was on the other child’s face, her yellow-green eyes widened with fear… but there was something else Bells noted about the pup; larger canines that would eventually form into saber-like teeth.

The pup… she felt a sense of familiarity about her…

...why did she look so scared?

Bells felt both frustrated and relieved she couldn’t remember. The expression suggested the memory would not be a positive one…

Bellamy kept wandering, paws leading her further away from the den she had been given, until the scent of herbs reached her. At first she thought of the healer, Drífa, whom had tended to the deep cut that she received from Incendio… but the scent of the wolf that she noticed with them were not of the older woman…

Her gaze was pulled towards the den all the same as she took a breath to steady her nerves. The other probably wasn’t even up knowing her luck. It was dark, sure, but it wasn’t incredibly late… maybe she would be?

She stood there for several long moments in silence, debating, before she took a couple steps towards the den entrance. Interacting… this was not her strong suit. She shifted a little, glanced around, and then called into the den.

“Um… hey… you still awake by chance?”