beware of birds

永程

Cheng smiled, as much as he could, but really, it felt like a wince. The queen rested a paw on his shoulder and he tried not to flinch, unwilling to hurt her; yet at the same time, his body screamed for him to duck away from Sirius' wife. The phantom caress of claws wrapping around his underside, and bony wings beating at his head and shoulders, was too fresh in his mind. He felt the gentle pressure Zee applied on his body and Yong Cheng stiffened, but forced himself to relax.

And then, she mentioned it.

"No," the boy gritted out, upset audible in his voice, "it doesn't." Against his will, Cheng sniffed. All Zee had done was to make him feel like he was back to when he'd first met Sirius, again. His speed hadn't saved him then, and it hadn't saved him now, and it was never going to save him, it seemed, because he hadn't even seen them coming. And when they had, all the threats had been so very big that even if he'd fought, he'd still have died. Angry tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. "I could fight," he breathed, chest heaving in and out and in and out, "And it wouldn't make a difference!"

He was depending on others to save him, all the time. First he'd had no choice; if he didn't follow Sirius willingly, he'd have followed Sirius on his back, dragged to the Armada belly up. And then if Sirius hadn't caught the bird before it stole Yong Cheng away, he'd probably be a lifeless sack of meat and bones in some bird's nest right now.

It wasn't Zee's fault, he knew, at the back of his mind. It wasn't anything of her doing that had led to him being in this circumstance. So why, why did he feel his breaths coming in shuddering sobs, and his shoulders trembling? Why did he feel like collapsing into a slump of not-wolf at the queen's feet? Why did he, in all his boyish manner, feel like pushing his nose into Zee's side and curling up into her like a young pup?

"But I'm not safe," he sobbed at last, "How can I defend myself against something I can't fight?"

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