surely not today

Tamsyn was happy that Resin hadn’t pulled away from her touch as she continued to trace the lines of scars along the larger gray limb in front of her. It was soothing in an odd way to have this methodical following and tracing for her to focus on the the moment and to be able to give the kind, protective woman some small form of affection. At the time Tamsyn didn’t realize how much it had been a show of appreciation and affection it had been until Resin spoke again and pulled her out of the self induced trance she had put herself into. She had been too focused on their overlapping paws to notice the flash of a snarl that crossed Resin’s features, the quick, violent reaction to her words gone by the time she looked up at the woman’s scarred face again.

Tamsyn thought back to her first reaction moments ago to seeing Resin standing over her and the instant flash of fear that had sparked in her gut from the gray and black woman’s appearance. Looking back on it, she felt so foolish to have felt that way. Now all she could see was Resin as she protector she was and only felt safe laying this closely with her. When Resin pointed the blame toward her father Tamsyn’s first instinct was to doubt the validity of those words, but it was something she was quick to push away. It was something that was so ingrained into her psyche that she was certain it was going to take years to fully work out of her, if she ever did at all, but having someone like Resin to reinforce that message was so incredibly helpful. She didn’t look down when she felt Resin’s paw settle on top of her own, keeping her mint eyes locked with her golden eye instead.

The offer caught her off guard and she could tell from Resin’s demeanor that there was no joking involved. It was a serious, deadly offer that Tamsyn for a moment seriously considered. To be able to see her father fall and experience the pain that he had put her though for all those years was something that felt tempting, but ultimately not something that felt right with her soul. After a few heavy beats of thoughtful silence, Tam finally responded with a small shake of her head. ”I would rather just... Put it behind me. If I do somehow cross paths with him again I’d rather him be able to see how I survived him and be able to... to defend myself from him. If I see him again... I want to give him a scar that he’ll have to carry with him for the rest of his life.” The emotion in her voice was surprising even to herself and her ears folded back against her skull as a knot of anger formed in her stomach. She had never had a vengeful bone in her body, but the longer she untangled the web that was her past, the more she cursed her family for shaping her into what she now had to deal with on her own.