Ghosted [Baine]

Pale paws carried her to the beginning of the path that led down into the dens where she was certain she would find her brother. For a few moments she wasn’t entirely sure she would be able to gather the courage to actually face him. All of her energy and focus had been thrown into just getting herself here that she hadn’t thought much about what she would actually say to him. If she was being honest with herself, she hadn’t been certain that she would actually survive the journey so the idea of worrying about what would happen when she finally arrived seemed silly.

Now here she was, afraid to even face the man that she had traveled all this distance to see. Perhaps she would be braver if Nolan was with her, but she knew this was something she needed to do on her own. She wanted Nolan’s introduction to his uncle to be on happier terms. Pushing herself forward, she made her way slowly into the dens. The layout of them was just as familiar as it had been the last time she was here and a heavy nostalgia settled over her as she moved though them.

She followed her brother’s familiar scent until her pale pink eyes finally found him. Her heart leapt into her throat and she froze in place in front of him, at a complete loss for words. Why. The single, hard word hit her like a slap across the face. Her ears flicked back against her skull and her eyes fell to look at the floor. It was the response she deserved, she knew that, but it didn’t mean that it the sting wasn’t there all the same.

A heavy silence hung between them as she tried to gather her words, her haunches slowly lowering to the floor as she struggled to find the right things to say. ”I didn’t... I didn’t understand what I had here. I got so wrapped up in... I don’t even know what it was. Some far flung rebellion, some... some part of me that wanted to do something crazy maybe? It was juvenile and stupid, I know that. I just felt so stuck and I didn’t know what else to do.” She hesitated, frowning as she thought back through her memories and tried to pinpoint one specific reason or excuse, but she came up short. She sighed and made herself lift her gaze to look at Regulus again. “It’s a terrible excuse... And that’s all it really is I guess, isn’t it? Not even a reason, just an excuse.”

She knew that he would want to know exactly what had happened and she let the words tumbling out of her mouth continue after a heavy sigh. As she spoke her eyes remained on her paws, too ashamed of her own actions to look him in the eye.  “I met a man named Acere. I didn’t know at the time that he was Elias’ brother. I was so hung up on the fact that I was getting older and I still hadn’t found anyone to be with and I was just attracted to him for some reason... Like I said, it was juvenile and stupid. I ran away to be with him... Thinking about it now, I don’t even know if he felt the same way about me, I was just too eager to have any sort of chance. When we got to his pack was when I found Zuriel and put all the pieces together.”

”When everything started falling apart there, Zuriel decided to leave. Daelos of course went with her and she took one of her younger sons, Casso, with her as well. She was the most worried about him since she seemed to think that he’d have some of the same problems that Elias did and wanted to keep him away from that influence as much as she could... There hadn’t been time to try and gather the rest of her children before the opportunity came for us to slip away. She thought about coming back here. We both did. But... We felt so guilty for how we had left that we felt it was better to go away from Boreas. I think she was a little afraid of Elias finding them as well, but she wouldn’t admit it. I wanted to help her raise Casso and... I guess I hoped maybe whatever it was that I was looking for would be out there somewhere.”

It felt like her story was rambling on forever, but she knew if she didn’t get it out now she may never do it. After the silence settled around them for a moment, she finally lifted  her eyes to look at her brother again. She knew she didn’t deserve any forgiveness for how she had left, but it felt better knowing that he at least knew what had happened to them. ”Daelos is still out there. She found a mate and has very young children so she decided to remain there.  I found a mate as well... His name was Thorben. We were both probably too old to really want such a thing when we found each other, but we were happy. It was honestly a shock when I realized I was pregnant. I had two pups, but one was stillborn. My son came here with me, his name is Nolan. He’s a wonderful young man... He’s even a little taller than you.” Her voice glowed with pride when she spoke of Nolan, even hinting with a bit of humor when she mentioned how big he had grown. However, her tone quickly grew more somber as she continued. ”Thorben passed away several months ago. Zuriel... she passed away as well...“