i found a way to catch that feel good

She felt the monochrome wolf shift and then suddenly she was wrapped in Resin’s embrace, held tightly against the larger wolf. It had been one thing to just be laying closely to Resin’s side, but to be held like this and to be able to feel her heart beat was a whole different thing. The heat that had been burning her cheeks spread to the rest of her body and she began to wonder how she would ever get her emotions and heart rate under control. She couldn’t grasp why she was reacting this way! They were just staying out of the stormy weather and Resin, being the kind protector that she was, was simply reacting to her fear and protecting her. That train of thought held enough logic to help her relax, even though the question of why being around Resin made her react this way still eluded her.

Tamsyn was grateful when Resin prompted her to talk about where she came from. Usually talking about her past wasn’t a pleasant thing, but it gave her a distraction. In a way it made her happy to share more of her story with Resin since it helped them to get to know each other better. ”I used to live in a small valley between a grouping of mountains. It was a forest of mostly oak and maple trees. It was nice during the spring and summer and the leaves were pretty during the fall, but it got pretty barren during the winter... though I guess most places do.” As she spoke she began to relax more and more, eventually convincing herself to ease into Resin’s embrace and rest her head against her friend again. ”If I could have lived there without the other wolves that were there I would. I actually liked the land itself a lot, but I never really got a chance to explore it.”

She found herself talking about details that she usually wouldn’t have considered worthy of saying, but something told her that Resin wouldn’t mind. It felt better to fill the silence and keep the feelings she didn’t understand at bay. ”My family had been there for several generations before I was born. They were all really dedicated to the group of wolves that I was born in to. They weren’t as organized as this pack is and there was no real borders like we have here, but they all stayed together and there was always one older male they called the guide. He was like the leader of the group and made decisions based on the religion they all believed in.” In an absent minded, distracted kind of way, Tamsyn let her paw trace back and forth over Resin’s leg where the scars were scattered over it. ”They all thought that if they didn’t follow everything perfectly then they wouldn’t be able to survive or nature would turn against them. That’s part of the reason my family reacted so... harshly to me not following their rules. Plus, I think my father just didn’t react very well to facing defiance for the first time in his life.”

A roll of thunder made her pause, her motions freezing for a moment and her ears flicking back until it finally passed. She relaxed again with a soft sigh before she continued, ”I had two brothers and I was the only girl in the litter. We were our parent’s first litter. They didn’t have another litter, at least not while I was there. Who knows, maybe they decided to give it another go after I was gone. My brothers definitely have families of their own by now. They both chose their mates a couple of months before... well, before I was kicked out.” She hadn’t thought about her brothers in quite a while or what they may be doing now. She wondered if they had daughters and if their girls would fair any better than she had. The thought made her ears flick uncertainly and her gaze drifted off, suddenly feeling very distant. She silently hoped that if they did have daughters they weren’t as strong headed as she had been since her brothers most certainly learned from their father.

With a small shake of her head she glanced back up at Resin, speaking with a small smile, ”Sorry, I didn’t mean to ramble so much.”