i found a way to catch that feel good

Feeling Resin pull her close into a tighter embrace in response to her question reassured her in a way she wasn’t expecting. She felt herself leaning into Resin’s touch when she felt the larger wolf’s head settle on top of hers and suddenly the fluttering in her chest didn’t feel so scary. Tamsyn didn’t like that there was still no finality to Resin not leaving when she stated that it may not happen, but the fact that she pulled her closer instead of responding negatively to her reaction to the possible departure helped to calm her worries a great deal. For a brief second Tamsyn closed her eyes and just let herself enjoy being wrapped up in Resin’s embrace, ignoring how confused she was by her own emotions so that she could just be happy in that moment.

The precious moment ended all too soon when the birds in the trees around them began to sing once again, showing that the rain storm had finally passed. She tried to hide her disappointment when Resin uncurled from her and that comforting, surrounding warmth left her. When this all started she had been unsure about being so close to the other woman, but now she was sad to be apart from her again. The smaller wolf got to her paws and stepped out into the emerging sunlight, giving her fur a good shake as well till the dust and leaves that had gotten caught in it was gone and it was laying neatly against her body again.

With the crossroads of options laid in front of her, she looked to Resin indecisively before finally saying, “Lets go back.” As much as she wanted to spend even more time with the monochrome woman, there was just too many thoughts swirling in her head for her to think straight. ”I’ll just have to join you for another patrol when Mother Nature doesn’t interrupt,” she added with a small smile before she began the moderately short walk back to her den. Most of the way she was quiet, thinking back on how she felt while she was pressed together next to Resin.

Her out of control emotions, her heart pounding for no real reason, the tumbling flutters in her stomach... none of it made any logical sense. None of it matched an emotion she had felt before. The thought of the whispered, scandalous chats she had overheard between some of the other young wolves in her former pack, the talks of what happens after they’re old enough to take mates. Having a mate was far more utilitarian than it was a thing of love in her old pack. The pairs were purely put together to have pups and continue the generations of wolves that made up this religion. Sometimes the wolves that were paired would get lucky and have both, but often times they wouldn’t. They would only be together for the betterment of their children and wouldn’t spend much time together otherwise. Whenever a pairing did happen to fall in love, the sight was like a watching a romance movie that didn’t feel real. The other pups her age used to chatter about it constantly, everyone wishing they would be as happy as those wolves when their time came. But... females were never paired with females. Why would they be? There was nothing physical to gain from that. Happiness and love weren’t tangible things. But did that matter here? There was no rules to say so, seemingly no obligations to have offspring...

By the time they reached her den, Tamsyn had more questions than she had answers. She turned to look at Resin with a small smile, trying to pause the gears turning in her head long enough to think straight. ”Thank you for taking me with you, even if it did get cut short. And for protecting me from the storm.” There was so much more that she wanted to say and ask, but she wasn’t sure if she had the bravery to open that Pandora’s box right now. Her tail wagged behind her as she reached up to lightly press her nose right under Resin’s chin in a small sign of affection.