Greedy Bones

Bellamy could feel it… her thoughts and feelings bubbling inside of her like a fire flickering before it became a roaring flame. Every so often, when her anger spiked, that flame would flare only to die down again when it shifted again. Her hormones weren’t helping… it felt like she might as well be going mad. She didn’t know how to handle any of it and thus out it came, uncensored and unfiltered as bursts of anger and frustration… it wasn’t what she wanted to feel at all. She had forgotten what it was like to truly feel well enough to laugh and have fun. She supposed the last time she had done that was when she was a child.

When he spoke Bells tensed. Her eyes squeezed shut and she heaved a sigh. “Trust me… I know.” She’d been one of the ones who had done worse. Her fate, compared to some, was merciful. “I know how bad the world can be. I don’t know how to stop from remembering it.” Her ears were pinned back flat against her skull as she growled low in her chest. “I don’t want to remember that shit.” As much as she claimed to have embraced what they made her… she didn’t, really.

Bellamy hated how she enjoyed fighting.

She hated the memories of innocents she hurt…

She hadn’t noticed Sparhawk turn away, struggling to reign herself in, and it was only when he spoke again, passing her a flask, that she looked to see what he’d done.

She quirked a brow in confusion. The flask wasn’t something she was used to and the female sniffed at the substance within.

“A… drink…?” Her anger had seemed to falter for the moment, the confusion and uncertainty on her face reigning instead. “How am I supposed to know this isn’t something that will cause harm? Poison, or a sleep drink…” The female’s body remained tense as her gut warned her to not drink the stuff yet.

“If it’s not bad… You drink some first. Prove that it won’t be bad for me.” There was a certain edge in her words now as the anger faded… and, to a trained ear, one might be able to detect the most subtle hint of fear. The worry at the back of her mind that he could try to drug her, or anyone for that matter, gnawed at her mind like a ravenous rat. The greatest fear she had… was being made into a slave again. It brought out an aggressive side, a defense mechanism, to shield her from being considered an easy target.

Yet… when she started to feel vulnerable those walls crumbled.

Just like when she had needed to rely on Drifa to heal her leg after Incendio had slashed it with his antler.

Deep down… Bellamy was still the scared child she was when the Kedieo soldier stole her away from her home and her family's bodies were left for the crows…