I'm Coming Home

It would seem that Spirit's mood matched her own, swallowing hard to try to keep her feelings at bay. It was difficult though, the tears still sliding down her mocha muzzle as the anxiety pitched upwards. She tossed her son a thankful look when he was the one to call to his siblings and Theory, her own throat feeling far too swollen to do much of anything. Eulogy accepted the comfort of Spirit as he leaned against her, letting out a shaky sigh as they waited. It was hard to tell just how long they waited, as seconds past like hours, but soon enough she saw a speck of movement across the horizon. Her breath caught painfully as she stood, wishing that she could run to meet Gloom at full tilt. Weight was shuffled across her paws, a whine passing through her dry lips as she danced in place, feeling her heart start to swell. She looked so grown up, mending and breaking her in the same breath. She had missed so much while she was gone...

Eulogy hardly had the time to dwell on the complicated thought before the girl barreled into her, accepting the impact with a muffled sob. Her head tipped downward as Gloom nuzzled into her, feeling her tears melt into her chocolate coat. "Oh baby, oh my baby girl... I never wanted to leave you," She sobbed, nuzzling into the base of her neck. "I missed you too, so much... I'm so sorry, so so sorry..." Her sweet voice was broken in the fur of her daughter, nose wiggling closer and closer as she felt Gloom pull Spirit closer as well. She felt like she was being pulled apart, both relief at being home, of seeing her kids, and the shattering regret of missing so much in their lives. She too, couldn't stop from crying, her belly heaving with every sob that shook her whole body. It was so hard to feel just one thing, but the relief that washed over her was great, and much needed. The dame was about to try to say more when she blinked her blue eyes, seeing the ever silent Void press into her other side. Her head snapped up as she wrapped her neck around him, sobbing into his coat now over Gloom's. "Void, my little star child. You're not so little any more, are you?" she squeezed out, raising her head to press a gentle kiss on his cheek. A somber smile tugged on her lips, a half laugh, half sob following. "You will need to teach me all about the stars, I'm sure they would have guided us home so much sooner..."

The galloping sound of paws slapping on the earth drew her head up once more, her smile growing slightly. Her niece joined the pile that was quickly growing around them, a soft giggle leaving her as she tried to pull them in even closer. "My goodness, how you all have grown... I cannot even express my regret in missing it all," she whispered, her form quivering as another sob wracked her. That's when she noticed that Desolate had joined them, standing a few feet away and not rushing towards them like the others had. Her brown ears pulled back towards her skull, her smile slipping as she stared at the boy. Man... he wasn't so small anymore, was he. He looked at his paws, not at her, which only cracked her heart further. Eulogy kept looking at him, her maw opening and closing as she tried to find the words, but failed in doing so. Still she cried, her own head dropping as the shame and guilt gripped at her once again. She tried to breathe, but just gasped instead, closing her eyes to feel the heat of her family around her. She tried to let it ground her, to pull away the negative things that weighed so heavily on her. Her spirit was broken, while she was glad to see them, she was realizing truly on how much she really had missed.

It took awhile for the woman to find the words, leaning over to touch each wolf with her nose just behind the ear. "I... I really am sorry. Our absence was in no way attended, and I know that I can never... make up for the time we lost. I... Oh my family, my dearest family, I cannot express my deepest regret, and guilt in this all. I love you all, so much, and it..." she broke off, another choking sob bubbling in her throat, cutting her words off. "It kills me... Wet blue eyes turned to Spirit, looking for some encouragement from the child who went through all of this with her. He had had the strength to call them all here, she needed to find that same thing to tell them all the story in as few words as she could. Eulogy was tired, thin, and just wanted to curl around her babies and finally get the first night of good sleep in months. "It happened during the volcano eruption, we were out looking for herbs when it struck. In the confusion of smoke and fire, we got separated. I searched for Spirit in the haze, and by the time we found each other, we both were suffering a great deal from smoke inhalation," She paused, dipping her head down once again. They must have been so afraid, and she wasn't there to comfort them... Eulogy flinched painfully, knowing that everyone around her would be able to feel the violent jerk. "I should have been there for you all, and I failed you..." She managed to pull up her head, feeling like river rocks were tied to each ear, to look at Desolate. She couldn't blame him if he were mad, or any of them for that reason. "We needed to get out of there, and we couldn't find the scent of pack lands. We were both disoriented and afraid, so we ran, and ran far... By the time we had healed up and were able to travel, we realized that we had no idea where we were. We searched and searched, not realizing that we had crossed the Bifrost. We tried so hard, please believe me... to find home. I missed you all so much, and I'm so, so sorry..."

Eulogy fell silent for a moment, wide eyes sweeping around to look at all those gathered. That was the most that she had said in a long time, and it wore her out even more. The weight of it all was crushing, pulling her down until she lay on her belly, still pulling her children and her niece close. "Thank you Theory, for keeping my babies safe when I failed to do so..." She whispered, a hint of a smile tugging on her tired lips. "Can we return home?" Half of her expected a no to come from Theory, again holding no blame at all if they were rejected. They had left, after all, even though it was the last thing that she wanted to do. Eulogy didn't want much in life, but abandoning her family was so far away from anything she ever wanted. Her gaze pulled back to Desolate, fighting the urge to rush towards him. "If you will have me, that is. If not, please let your brother back in. This wasn't at all his fault, I was the one who suggested a herb hunt and a lesson... She should have been at home, she should have been able to protect her babies. Another cry left her, head lowering to curl into Gloom first, then Void, Spirit, and Theory in turn. Desolate, she wanted her last child here... her heart called to him, knowing that he was upset but not knowing how to comfort him. "I know I missed so much, but I want to be there for you as I once was. I want you to tell me all about yourselves and what you learned, and to be a family again. 'Please, she begged silently, swallowing back a whine.