Somebody Like You

*Desolate* · 05-04-2020, 05:24 PM

Desolate had been sleeping more often lately, unable to even bring himself to his feet beneath the crushing weight of emotion that had been thrust upon him. His life had changed so very suddenly and the yearling did not know how to stand right-side-up in an upside-down world. His mother had returned and it made him angry, yet also sad, as well as maybe a little bit of happiness that he could not admit to himself existed. Theory was his alpha, his mentor, and the only wolf to have shown him such kindness since he'd been orphaned. The world felt dull and grey before he allowed himself to believe in her, to strive for her approval. Would he lose whatever bond they held if he welcomed back his mother?

The only good thing that had come from the Winterfell raid was his recent promotion. It lifted him back up to a sort of normalcy, to feeling useful and unbroken. He had a job to do and responsibilities that came along with it, he'd proven to himself that Abaven needed him and it allowed him to feel more at home in a place where he had so little connection. Each time he allowed himself a little peace, Eulogy's memory would flood back to him and he'd feel himself slip once more. Why was it all so hard?

It took well past the sunrise before Desolate forced himself off the den floor. He looked down at his paws dejectedly willing them to move even an inch. A few days ago he was a mere boy with no purpose and now he was a warrior. A warrior who could hardly get himself out of bed to do his job. Just go. He told himself firmly. You can do it. Do it for Theory. The eagerness to win the alpha's love and approval was just enough, and Desolate forced himself to cross the den towards the light.

It felt good to move, to know he was headed somewhere important even if it was merely a basic patrol. The more he walked the higher his spirits rose, the more it felt right. Then Desolate rounded the corner to see the pile of sadness puddled before the entrance and the weight of the world crashed back down upon him. "Why are you everywhere I look?" His voice broke under the pain, the exasperation he felt intensifying each word. He tore his gaze off of her, staring daggers into the dirt that formed the den mouth.

"Speech"
"Thinking"
"You."

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